New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

Off-Third

The red facade and sidewalk entrance of Bobst Library is decorated with ornaments and garland. N.Y.U. president Andrew Hamilton puts ornaments on two Christmas, which are side by side.

Off-Third: NYU should celebrate Christmas even earlier

November isn’t soon enough. We need to celebrate Christmas for the entire second half of the year.
Naisha Roy, Staff Writer Nov 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As soon as the clock strikes midnight on Nov. 1, Instagram stories everywhere go from pictures of lingerie-with-animal-ears costumes to red...

Bill de Blasio speaks on a podium with a purple banner that reads “New York University.” He is wearing a navy suit with white-and-red stripe tie.

Off-Third: De Blasio’s NYU course to investigate the art of falling short

Start spreading the news! Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced that he will teach at NYU’s Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service in the spring.
Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer Oct 31, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Mayor Bill de Blasio, now 61 years young, is fresh off of a failed congressional race and a steaming hot pile of New York City garbage of...

An illustration of a college dorm room with two beds and posters hanging on the wall. On the left side bed there are purple beddings and a girl wearing a purple tank top and blue pants. On the right side bed there are light blue beddings with a girl wearing a blue long-sleeve jersey and gray pants. Both of the girls are crossing their arms while turning away from each other facing the wall.

Off-Third: You should dorm with your best friend

There is no need for boundaries among best friends.
Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer Oct 13, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Do you remember how, during the summer before your first year, your dear mother warned you to not dorm with your best friend?  Utter...

Photo cutouts of a sad-looking male and a female dressed in casual clothes in front of a photo of the construction site of the 181 Mercer Street building owned by New York University.

Off-Third: 181 Mercer construction is high priority, not adjuncts

NYU’s refusal to pay adjunct professors comes from a place of frugality, not malice.
Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer Oct 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Chaos has risen at NYU: posters demanding that NYU pays adjunct professors are littered and crumpled up in all corners of the school, from...

A warped illustration of an iPad with a tipping screen displayed, with 25%, 35%, 45%, 55%, no tip, or custom tip available as options, against a blurred photograph of a Weinstein dining hall.

Off-Third: Weinstein should implement iPad tipping

If a self-serve frozen yogurt shop can ask me for a tip, why can’t Cluckstein?
Sydney Barragan, Under the Arch Editor Sep 29, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. My two roommates and I went to 16 Handles last week, and after paying $15 for a small cup that I filled up myself, the Airpod-wearing teenage...

An illustration of a female wearing a blue turtleneck sweater and brown hair who smiles while lifting a blue mask away from her face.

Off-Third: The end of NYU’s mask mandate is the best thing to happen to my nose

COVID-19 is fake and so is my nose, but thanks to the university, only one of them can be seen in the classroom.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Sep 28, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. There are four important events in every Jewish girl’s life: her Bat Mitzvah, her nose job, decorating her bed for her college commitment,...

An illustration of a podium with the Columbia University logo sitting on the first place with a green check mark next to it. The N.Y.U. logo, with a red cross next to it, sits on the second place. “Silly purple school” is written next to the N.Y.U. logo in purple.

Off-Third: Columbia is better than NYU

Columbia embodies everything a traditional college should be, from its campus, its student body, its sports and its academia. NYU can’t compete.
Pritheva Zakaria, Contributing Writer Sep 26, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Let me be the first to address the elephant in the room — everyone who attends NYU was rejected from Columbia. It’s the one characteristic...

A person sits in bed and cries while holding a family photo. They are sitting in their college dorm bedroom, and a New York University flag hangs on the wall. The text “FAKE NEWS” is written across the image in red.

Off-Third: Homesickness is not real

Everything is so great here, why would you miss home? This is better than home!
Molly Koch, Contributing Writer Sep 21, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. We are now entering week three of the semester. You’re finally getting used to your schedule and settling in. You’re so happy and everything...

An illustration of a crossed-out text bubble which says, Hi! I’m in Lberal Studies,” against a purple background.

Off-Third: Liberal Studies is the best major

Everyone in Liberal Studies, like myself, should have some pride for the best school on campus.
Katherine Harron, Contributing Writer Sep 20, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Everyone I’ve talked to at NYU has one thing in common: they all applied to be in Liberal Studies. Only a select few, however, were offered...

An illustration of a sports podium with a generic college building on the first place spot.

Off-Third: A sincere apology to our readers. College rankings do matter.

In a response to a previous article, Liberal Studies’ own Alexandra Cohen admits that she was wrong and that college rankings do matter — when they’re good.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Sep 14, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Last semester, I made a grave mistake out of my own insecurity of NYU’s placement in the top 30 rather than the top 25. I claimed that...

A Victorian couch sits on top of a pile of trash in the 49th Street subway station.

Off-Third: The city streets are New York’s hottest department store

One man’s trash is another man’s bean bag.
Matan Hamam, Staff Writer Sep 13, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. A new school year has started, and with it, thousands of leases for new apartments and dorm rooms. As the game of musical chairs comes to...

Against a purple background is the purple emoji with an ominous face and a pair of devil-like horns

Off-Third: How to make enemies at NYU

Because some of us are sick of this nice guy stuff.
Ayva Strauss, Contributing Writer Sep 12, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. So you’ve devoured all of the guides about how to make friends at college, and to your surprise, the advice of Reddit psychologists is...

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