Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Off-Third

Photo cutouts of a sad-looking male and a female dressed in casual clothes in front of a photo of the construction site of the 181 Mercer Street building owned by New York University.

Off-Third: 181 Mercer construction is high priority, not adjuncts

NYU’s refusal to pay adjunct professors comes from a place of frugality, not malice.
Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer Oct 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Chaos has risen at NYU: posters demanding that NYU pays adjunct professors are littered and crumpled up in all corners of the school, from...

A warped illustration of an iPad with a tipping screen displayed, with 25%, 35%, 45%, 55%, no tip, or custom tip available as options, against a blurred photograph of a Weinstein dining hall.

Off-Third: Weinstein should implement iPad tipping

If a self-serve frozen yogurt shop can ask me for a tip, why can’t Cluckstein?
Sydney Barragan, Under the Arch Editor Sep 29, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. My two roommates and I went to 16 Handles last week, and after paying $15 for a small cup that I filled up myself, the Airpod-wearing teenage...

An illustration of a female wearing a blue turtleneck sweater and brown hair who smiles while lifting a blue mask away from her face.

Off-Third: The end of NYU’s mask mandate is the best thing to happen to my nose

COVID-19 is fake and so is my nose, but thanks to the university, only one of them can be seen in the classroom.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Sep 28, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. There are four important events in every Jewish girl’s life: her Bat Mitzvah, her nose job, decorating her bed for her college commitment,...

An illustration of a podium with the Columbia University logo sitting on the first place with a green check mark next to it. The N.Y.U. logo, with a red cross next to it, sits on the second place. “Silly purple school” is written next to the N.Y.U. logo in purple.

Off-Third: Columbia is better than NYU

Columbia embodies everything a traditional college should be, from its campus, its student body, its sports and its academia. NYU can’t compete.
Pritheva Zakaria, Contributing Writer Sep 26, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Let me be the first to address the elephant in the room — everyone who attends NYU was rejected from Columbia. It’s the one characteristic...

A person sits in bed and cries while holding a family photo. They are sitting in their college dorm bedroom, and a New York University flag hangs on the wall. The text “FAKE NEWS” is written across the image in red.

Off-Third: Homesickness is not real

Everything is so great here, why would you miss home? This is better than home!
Molly Koch, Contributing Writer Sep 21, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. We are now entering week three of the semester. You’re finally getting used to your schedule and settling in. You’re so happy and everything...

An illustration of a crossed-out text bubble which says, Hi! I’m in Lberal Studies,” against a purple background.

Off-Third: Liberal Studies is the best major

Everyone in Liberal Studies, like myself, should have some pride for the best school on campus.
Katherine Harron, Contributing Writer Sep 20, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Everyone I’ve talked to at NYU has one thing in common: they all applied to be in Liberal Studies. Only a select few, however, were offered...

An illustration of a sports podium with a generic college building on the first place spot.

Off-Third: A sincere apology to our readers. College rankings do matter.

In a response to a previous article, Liberal Studies’ own Alexandra Cohen admits that she was wrong and that college rankings do matter — when they’re good.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Sep 14, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Last semester, I made a grave mistake out of my own insecurity of NYU’s placement in the top 30 rather than the top 25. I claimed that...

A Victorian couch sits on top of a pile of trash in the 49th Street subway station.

Off-Third: The city streets are New York’s hottest department store

One man’s trash is another man’s bean bag.
Matan Hamam, Staff Writer Sep 13, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. A new school year has started, and with it, thousands of leases for new apartments and dorm rooms. As the game of musical chairs comes to...

Against a purple background is the purple emoji with an ominous face and a pair of devil-like horns

Off-Third: How to make enemies at NYU

Because some of us are sick of this nice guy stuff.
Ayva Strauss, Contributing Writer Sep 12, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. So you’ve devoured all of the guides about how to make friends at college, and to your surprise, the advice of Reddit psychologists is...

Against a light green background, a hand holds a smartphone on the left and a contactless sensor is on the right.

Off-Third: NYU Housing moves to implement microchip building access

As NYU embraces microchip technology, students will no longer need a physical key to enter their dorms.
Shamon Lawrence, Deputy Opinion Editor Sep 8, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. “Keys are outdated,” according to an email from the NYU Office of Residential Life and Housing Services sent to residential students....

An illustration of a red cross and bold text saying “Canceled” on top of text saying “imposter syndrome” in white.

Off -Third: It’s time we bid adieu to imposter syndrome

You get more things when you’re confident, so fake it ‘til you make it.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Sep 1, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Happy new year! The first day of class is of course the start of a new year; it marks the transition from one grade to the next. I am confident...

Icons of (left to right) Microsoft Word, Google Docs and Apple Pages against a light purple background. The small crown and a number one badge are attached to the Google Docs icon.

Off-Third: We live in a Google Docs world — it’s time to start acting like it

Google Docs is superior. It’s time to abandon the other options.
Alexandra Cohen, Deputy Opinion Editor Apr 27, 2022

It drives me absolutely insane when people don’t choose the best option. It’s even more insane when the best option is the easiest and the cheapest. I understand — and understand...