Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Off-Third

A light blue jetliner flies at night surrounded by nine pink hearts.

Off-Third: The best thing about going home is the airport

The airport process, especially during holiday break, is riveting and worthwhile.
Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer Dec 15, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As the temperatures drop below 30 degrees Fahrenheit, the stress of finals threatens to consume you, and the luster of the city begins to...

A corner of a building with text “Paulson Center New York University” on the glass in a vertical layout. Overlaying part of the original text is a block of handwritten text “Sarah.”

Off-Third: That new NYU building should really be named after Sarah Paulson instead

NYU will unveil a new building, the twist? Each floor is an American Horror Story themed haunted house.
Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor Dec 15, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Yesterday, hedge fund billionaire John Paulson gave a $100 million donation to NYU. His name will be plastered upon the university’s...

An illustration of an elf wearing a red and white pointed hat and a long-sleeve red shirt with a white collar on top of the shirt. The elf stands in front of a military green background.

Off-Third: Is your Elf on the Shelf spying on you?

This is the future George Orwell warned us about.
Sydney Barragan, Under The Arch Editor Dec 8, 2022

Nothing says Christmas like garlands, gifts and the threat of constant surveillance. It all starts with Santa Claus. This fat white man wears a red tracksuit and shimmies his...

A man in a blue shirt and a brown tie holds his right arm up while speaking to a group of students. Behind him, there is a slide that is drawn over that reads: “Stern Best, thumbs up emoji.”

Off-Third: Sternies are better than us, actually

Leave the finance bros alone. Everyone knows you’re just jealous of them.
Naisha Roy, Staff Writer Dec 7, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Last week, the undergraduate dean at Stern School of Business answered questions during a town hall with dozens of students to discuss anti-Stern...

An illustration of a roasted turkey served on a lemon platter. It is covered in leafy greens and is in the foreground a red background.

Off-Third: What to do when you’re stuck in the US for Thanksgiving

Not going home for the holiday? Here is a list of things to do in the city while you wait for your American friends to come back to campus.
Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer Nov 23, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Alone in the city this Thanksgiving, thousands of miles away from your family? Here’s a great plan of fantastic things you can do to fill...

An illustration of two people’s silhouette talking in front of a blackboard with the text “COLLEGE OF blank line?” “C.A.S. vs C period A period S period,” and “SOLUTION two question marks” against a purple background.

Off-Third: CAS needs a name

CAS first-years have faced this dilemma for way too long. We need a name.
Naisha Roy, Staff Writer Nov 16, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As a wide-eyed and eager first-year ready to take New York City by storm, you gather all of your belongings and move into your first dorm....

A figure dressed in a pink beret stands next to an illustration of a croissant. A text bubble is in between the two that reads “it’s ‘croissant.’”

Off-Third: How to prepare for your returning study abroad friends

They’re going to be insufferable, but it’s best to adapt. They won’t be your average American student anymore.
Stacia Datskovska, Contributing Writer Nov 7, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. You’ve heard the rumors: people change — I mean, become insufferable — when they return from a semester abroad. Now, it seems like...

The red facade and sidewalk entrance of Bobst Library is decorated with ornaments and garland. N.Y.U. president Andrew Hamilton puts ornaments on two Christmas, which are side by side.

Off-Third: NYU should celebrate Christmas even earlier

November isn’t soon enough. We need to celebrate Christmas for the entire second half of the year.
Naisha Roy, Staff Writer Nov 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As soon as the clock strikes midnight on Nov. 1, Instagram stories everywhere go from pictures of lingerie-with-animal-ears costumes to red...

Bill de Blasio speaks on a podium with a purple banner that reads “New York University.” He is wearing a navy suit with white-and-red stripe tie.

Off-Third: De Blasio’s NYU course to investigate the art of falling short

Start spreading the news! Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced that he will teach at NYU’s Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service in the spring.
Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer Oct 31, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Mayor Bill de Blasio, now 61 years young, is fresh off of a failed congressional race and a steaming hot pile of New York City garbage of...

An illustration of a college dorm room with two beds and posters hanging on the wall. On the left side bed there are purple beddings and a girl wearing a purple tank top and blue pants. On the right side bed there are light blue beddings with a girl wearing a blue long-sleeve jersey and gray pants. Both of the girls are crossing their arms while turning away from each other facing the wall.

Off-Third: You should dorm with your best friend

There is no need for boundaries among best friends.
Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer Oct 13, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Do you remember how, during the summer before your first year, your dear mother warned you to not dorm with your best friend?  Utter...

Photo cutouts of a sad-looking male and a female dressed in casual clothes in front of a photo of the construction site of the 181 Mercer Street building owned by New York University.

Off-Third: 181 Mercer construction is high priority, not adjuncts

NYU’s refusal to pay adjunct professors comes from a place of frugality, not malice.
Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer Oct 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Chaos has risen at NYU: posters demanding that NYU pays adjunct professors are littered and crumpled up in all corners of the school, from...

A warped illustration of an iPad with a tipping screen displayed, with 25%, 35%, 45%, 55%, no tip, or custom tip available as options, against a blurred photograph of a Weinstein dining hall.

Off-Third: Weinstein should implement iPad tipping

If a self-serve frozen yogurt shop can ask me for a tip, why can’t Cluckstein?
Sydney Barragan, Under the Arch Editor Sep 29, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. My two roommates and I went to 16 Handles last week, and after paying $15 for a small cup that I filled up myself, the Airpod-wearing teenage...