Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Washington Square News

Off-Third

An illustration of a black car with N.Y.U. Safe Ride logos on the hood and side. On top of the illustration is a smartphone displaying an application called “N.Y.U. Safe Ride.”

Off-Third: NYU Safe Ride adds skateboard service

Students need reliability when it comes to their safety. Who’s more cautious than New York Skaters?
Lily Ritterman-Peña, Contributing Writer May 8, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. It’s almost the end of the semester, which means that everyone’s money is running out, and they’re all going out as much as they can....

A photo of Andrew Hamilton, the president of N.Y.U., wearing a brown suit with red glowing eyes. Above his left hand is an illustration of a paper box with red glowing lights.

Off-Third: Hamilton is behind storage company email spam

The soon-to-be-former NYU president has cast his chemistry accolades aside for a new entrepreneurial endeavor ― storing his students’ belongings.
Mayee Yeh, Editor-at-Large May 5, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. While NYU students fight each other for a seat in Bobst and practically shove each other into West Fourth Street while walking to class,...

A flag with N.Y.U.’s logo hangs from a red brick building.

Off-Third: NYU to adopt Ticketmaster strategy for housing and course selection

Think getting into the Eras Tour is hard? Try getting into a Texts and Ideas class.
Naisha Roy, Deputy Opinion Editor May 3, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. After a week full of chaotic at best and absolute failure at worst housing and course registrations, NYU has decided to adopt the Ticketmaster...

A purple flag with the logo of N.Y.U. hangs from a building.

Off-Third: NYU spends entire budget on admitted students weekend

NYU is courting accepted students with the intent of long-term commitment.
Lily Ritterman-Peña, Contributing Writer Apr 20, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. NYU has reportedly spent nearly its entire endowment on Weekend on the Square, the welcome event for the incoming class of 2027, giving them...

Two N.Y.U. security officers standing outside the entrance to N.Y.U.’s Lafayette residence hall with a small police car parked on the street

Off-Third: Students upset that Trump arrest delayed their morning commute 

As history happens outside their windows, students at NYU’s Lafayette Hall just want Trump to move on already.
Lily Ritterman-Peña , Contributing Writer Apr 6, 2023

Over the past few weeks, the residents of Lafayette Hall started to notice that their neighborhood was becoming more restricted. Instead of just the single perpetual police officer...

A paper straw with blue stripes in a plastic cup against a red wall.

Off-Third: The last straw: Dining hall paper straws turn students into climate deniers

Save the turtles — or don’t. Just give us our plastic straws back, climate-denying students say.
Naisha Roy, Deputy Opinion Editor Mar 29, 2023

After spending months grappling with dysfunctional paper straws, some NYU students are rejecting the university’s sustainability measures — and the idea of climate change as...

An illustration of a college dorm room with two beds and posters hanging on the wall. The bed on the left is purple and a girl wearing a purple tank top and blue pants sits on top. The bed on the right has light blue bedding and a girl wearing a blue long-sleeved jersey and gray pants sits on top. Both of the girls are crossing their arms while turning away from each other, facing opposite walls.

Off-Third: NYU says farewell to randomized roommates

Gone is the delight of coming home to a stranger’s belongings strewn all over the floor of your shared bedroom.
Molly Koch, Deputy Opinion Editor Mar 3, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. In a disappointing turn of events, NYU will retire its beloved random roommate selection starting next year, according to a recent announcement...

A student walks through the N.Y.U Bookstore entrance.

Off-Third: “Anti-NYU” merch line now available at bookstore

Save showing your college pride for your hometown. It's not welcome here.
Lily Ritterman-Peña, Contributing Writer Mar 3, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. To prepare for the arrival of the newly accepted class of 2027, NYU is stepping up its merch game with a new line of streetwear that is revolutionizing...

A student dressed in a black t-shirt and black checkered sweatpants does laundry in the Coral Tower residence hall laundry room. The laundry room consists of two rows of white washers and dryers.

Off-Third: Students wash clothing one article at a time to protest laundry conditions

The only thing Herculean about the Hercules laundry app is that it should be abandoned, protesters say.
Naisha Roy, Deputy Opinion Editor Feb 28, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. After struggling with the excess cost of laundry, the scarce amount of machines in each dorm and the glitchy Hercules app, which serves as...

A box of emergency contraceptive pills on a white tabletop. The box reads “Plan B. One-Step.”

Off-Third: NYU takes ‘the city is our campus’ literally, offers off-campus tours to visitors

As university buildings take over the city, leadership ambassadors are taking over the city’s tourism industry.
Naisha Roy, Deputy Opinion Editor Feb 16, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. After constant complaints that campus tours were smelly, boring and prone to assault-via-egging, the university has finally announced the...

A smartphone displaying a pass inside of its digital wallet. The pass has a purple background with N.Y.U.’s logo and the text “Violet Go” on the top. The image indicates the pass belongs to a person named Andrew Hamilton.

Off-Third: NYU security asks for magic beans in lieu of Violet Go

The university’s new COVID-19 policy allows for Campus Safety officers to take some creative liberties when it comes to student identification.
Nikkala Kovacevic, Deputy Opinion Editor Feb 15, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Earlier this month, Vice President for Campus Health Carlo Ciotoli announced that students would no longer need to display a Violet Go pass...

An illustration of four people against a pink background. Three people stand in a circle on the right while pointing and talking about the person walking past wearing a green coat and carrying a New Yorker magazine tote bag.

Off-Third: What to get your catcallers for Valentine’s Day

Love is in the air, and verbal harassment is on the street.
Lily Ritterman-Peña, Contributing Writer Feb 14, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As a single woman in New York City, figuring out what to gift your street harassers can be tricky. There are a lot of things that make...