Off-Third Archives - Page 3 of 7 - Washington Square News

Off-Third: That new NYU building should really be named after Sarah Paulson instead

NYU will unveil a new building, the twist? Each floor is an American Horror Story themed haunted house.

Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor • December 15, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Yesterday, hedge fund billionaire John Paulson gave a $100 million donation to NYU. His name will be plastered upon the university’s...

Off-Third: Is your Elf on the Shelf spying on you?

This is the future George Orwell warned us about.

Sydney Barragan, Under The Arch Editor • December 8, 2022

Nothing says Christmas like garlands, gifts and the threat of constant surveillance. It all starts with Santa Claus. This fat white man wears a red tracksuit and shimmies his...

Off-Third: Sternies are better than us, actually

Leave the finance bros alone. Everyone knows you’re just jealous of them.

Naisha Roy, Staff Writer • December 7, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Last week, the undergraduate dean at Stern School of Business answered questions during a town hall with dozens of students to discuss anti-Stern...

Off-Third: What to do when you’re stuck in the US for Thanksgiving

Not going home for the holiday? Here is a list of things to do in the city while you wait for your American friends to come back to campus.

Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer • November 23, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Alone in the city this Thanksgiving, thousands of miles away from your family? Here’s a great plan of fantastic things you can do to fill...

Off-Third: CAS needs a name

CAS first-years have faced this dilemma for way too long. We need a name.

Naisha Roy, Staff Writer • November 16, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As a wide-eyed and eager first-year ready to take New York City by storm, you gather all of your belongings and move into your first dorm....

Off-Third: How to prepare for your returning study abroad friends

They’re going to be insufferable, but it’s best to adapt. They won’t be your average American student anymore.

Stacia Datskovska, Contributing Writer • November 7, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. You’ve heard the rumors: people change — I mean, become insufferable — when they return from a semester abroad. Now, it seems like...

Off-Third: NYU should celebrate Christmas even earlier

November isn’t soon enough. We need to celebrate Christmas for the entire second half of the year.

Naisha Roy, Staff Writer • November 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. As soon as the clock strikes midnight on Nov. 1, Instagram stories everywhere go from pictures of lingerie-with-animal-ears costumes to red...

Off-Third: De Blasio’s NYU course to investigate the art of falling short

Start spreading the news! Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced that he will teach at NYU’s Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service in the spring.

Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer • October 31, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Mayor Bill de Blasio, now 61 years young, is fresh off of a failed congressional race and a steaming hot pile of New York City garbage of...

Off-Third: You should dorm with your best friend

There is no need for boundaries among best friends.

Aksha Mittapalli, Contributing Writer • October 13, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Do you remember how, during the summer before your first year, your dear mother warned you to not dorm with your best friend? Utter...

Off-Third: 181 Mercer construction is high priority, not adjuncts

NYU’s refusal to pay adjunct professors comes from a place of frugality, not malice.

Benjamin Meppen, Contributing Writer • October 3, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. Chaos has risen at NYU: posters demanding that NYU pays adjunct professors are littered and crumpled up in all corners of the school, from...

Off-Third: Weinstein should implement iPad tipping

If a self-serve frozen yogurt shop can ask me for a tip, why can’t Cluckstein?

Sydney Barragan, Under the Arch Editor • September 29, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. My two roommates and I went to 16 Handles last week, and after paying $15 for a small cup that I filled up myself, the Airpod-wearing teenage...

Off-Third: The end of NYU’s mask mandate is the best thing to happen to my nose

COVID-19 is fake and so is my nose, but thanks to the university, only one of them can be seen in the classroom.

Alexandra Cohen, Opinion Editor • September 28, 2022

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column. There are four important events in every Jewish girl’s life: her Bat Mitzvah, her nose job, decorating her bed for her college commitment,...