New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

New York University's independent student newspaper, established in 1973.

Washington Square News

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Staff Rants: Drinks

From milk to kombucha — here’s our staff’s hot takes on drinks.
Staff+Rants%3A+Drinks

On Black Coffee

Helen Wajda, Deputy Opinion Editor

I love coffee as much as the next person, but I will never understand how anyone can drink it black. Maybe I’m drinking the wrong coffee, but black coffee just tastes like bitter bean juice to me. Just thinking about it physically pains me.

On Milk

Jun Sung, Opinion Editor

It may be controversial, but milk is the most overrated drink. I don’t care what kind — cow, goat, almond, hemp, etc. — they’re all bad. The smell alone makes me gag and the aftertaste is awful. Sure, it strengthens your bones and teeth and whatever, but is the taste really worth it? No. Plus, I refuse to cave to the dairy industry!

On Diet Coke Haters

Jake Capriotti, Photo Editor

Yes, I drink an absurd amount. Yes, I’m aware it’s not the best drink for me. No, I will not stop. Your lectures mean nothing to me!

On Kombucha

Arvind Sriram, Sports Editor

WTF is kombucha?

On Ice Water

Sasha Cohen, Performing Arts Editor

There’s only one drink that is truly refreshing after a long, hot day: room temperature water. Yes, you heard it here first folks. I HATE ice water with a burning passion. Now before you judge, let me provide some reasoning behind my preference. When I drink a freezing cold glass of water, I think my esophagus gets frostbite. The cold sensation is just so unpleasant that it makes me want to be dehydrated. Conversely, room temperature water is easier to drink because I do not need to take a 25-second break to let my bodily systems thaw. While my family is used to my tepid beverage tendencies, so many waiters give me a funny look when I order water with no ice. Yet, what is even more frustrating is when they still bring me ice water and tell me to wait for the ice to melt. Well let me tell you, waiting for ice to melt does not miraculously make water room temperature. Therefore, I am calling for a water temperature reform; any water that is below 55 degrees Fahrenheit — or 12.8 degrees Celsius — is simply unfit for consumption and should be reported to the following email: [email protected]. Thank you in advance for your help.

On Watching from Afar

Gabby Lozano, Deputy Opinion Editor

While I haven’t consumed much alcohol, what makes up for it has been the numerous videos my mom has sent me of middle-aged white moms that pour out their sorrows with copious amounts of alcohol. It sounds lame, but at least they’re having fun from a distance and it reminds me that I can’t wait to escape once quarantine measures hopefully end. Cheers to that. 

On Bottled Water

Kim Rice, Deputy Copy Chief

People who drink water know that all brands of water taste differently and that you should solely drink water at room temperature. Don’t really understand what distilled water is, don’t care for it because it costs more at all restaurants and sparkling water is amazing but not if you are actually thirsty. Now onto brands: Poland Spring is the best brand, Aquafina is literal garbage. Deer Park is kind of dirty but not bad. Smart Water is up there but not above Poland Spring, because nothing is. Fiji is unnecessarily expensive and people should stop buying it; it doesn’t even taste good, just overpriced. Nestlé is right on top of Aquafina; I don’t know who is in charge of Nestlé but they should be fired. Dasani is right up there with Poland Spring, we love it but not as much. It’s so beautiful we love to see it. Evian is alright but no one wants it. And finally, anything that just says “drinking water” on the packaging will not be that great; some are surprising but otherwise not it. Opinions listed here are final and you should not argue until you drink all of these brands back to back and see that I am, in fact, correct.

On Flat Soda

Paul Kim, Deputy Managing Editor

At some point in the history of man, some poor, deranged sucker opened his generic-brand soda, forgot about it and took a sip an hour later. Then, in defiance of all things good and holy, he thought, “Hey, this should be a flavor for things.” I can’t stress enough that this was the WRONG thought to have, and every day since that moment, we have strayed further from God’s light. 

You realize without the carbonation in a soda, you’re basically drinking watered-down corn syrup with a few additives? You need the flavoring and the carbonation to work in tandem. In fact, you don’t even need the flavoring. People will buy sparkling water just to experience that sweet, sweet burn. But I assure you, it does not work both ways.

And sure, we tolerate flat sodas on certain occasions — two-liter bottles of Coca-Cola at Christmas parties, Chipotle drinking fountains, the third sip of a can of La Croix — but distilling the worst part of any soda and giving it a spin-off show is unconscionable. My first thought when my soda has no fizz is most definitely not “Yes, I want to put this on my snow cones and Icees. Also, I’d like a gummy that is this, and while we’re at it, a Hi-Chew flavor too.” Disgusting.

Opinions expressed on the editorial pages are not necessarily those of WSN, and our publication of opinions is not an endorsement of them.

Email WSN Staff at [email protected].

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About the Contributors
Helen Wajda, Opinion Editor
Helen is a junior double majoring in Childhood/Special Education and English. She's from Upstate New York (actually Upstate, not Westchester) and enjoys making extremely specific playlists when she's not writing. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram @helenwajda.
Jun Sung, Deputy Managing Editor
Jun is a senior double-majoring in History and East Asian Studies. He's from Indiana, but managed to find his way to New York City. When he isn't on Twitter, you'll probably see him playing League of Legends. Follow him on Twitter @sung__jun.
Jake Capriotti, Photo Editor
Jake is a senior at Tisch studying film and television and has been with WSN since Spring 2020. He is an Arizona native and that is his one personality trait. Outside of WSN, Jake specializes in portraiture, performance and unit stills photography as well as being the official photographer for the NYC OffBrnd Dance Team. You can find him on Instagram @capriotti.jake and maybe he'll DM you some memes.
Arvind Sriram, Sports Editor
Arvind is a first-year intending to study Economics and Journalism. He's from Arizona but proudly proclaims himself as a New Yorker despite living here for only three months. If you want to debate obscure sports topics such as the most valuable role players in the NBA, hit him up on Instagram @arvindsriram04.
Sasha Cohen, Arts Editor
Sasha Cohen is a junior studying Producing and Promotion for the Arts with a minor in Business of Entertainment, Media and Technology. She is from Chicago, but please do not ask her to choose between New York- and Chicago-style pizza. When Sasha is not working, she is often belting Broadway tunes, searching for the best pastries or checking out NYC parks. For more about Sasha, follow @_sasha.cohen_ on Instagram.
Kim Rice, Copy Chief
Kim is a junior (ahhhhhh) double majoring in Journalism and Politics. A born and bred New Yorker, she does say things like "cawfee" and "dawg" but please don't ask her to repeat the words for you, it's kind of annoying. You shouldn't be bumping into her really, but from a safe distance you can find her drinking an iced coffee, walking around, just taking everything in. Follow her on Instagram or Twitter @k_r_630 to see and hear random thoughts and pictures of things you can easily see and think yourself.
Paul Kim, Managing Editor
In all the past bios Paul Kim has written for WSN, he mentioned he hates cilantro. This is because Paul hates cilantro. He has also grown to hate everything that even remotely looks like cilantro. Parsley has no right to look so similar to cilantro. When he's eating anything, he can never tell if the little green herbs are pieces of parsley or cilantro, so he has to bite into it to find out. More often than not, it's cilantro. To balance out this very negative bio, Paul will mention something he likes: pre-packaged cotton candy. Paul apologizes that this bio wasn't very informative. If you want to learn more about him, check him out on Instagram @pksmash and Twitter @PaulKimWrites.
Gabby Lozano, Dining Editor
Gabby Lozano is a senior studying Global Liberal Studies and minoring in food studies. After NYU, she aspires to work as a digital reporter or producer, but her dream is to become the next Anthony Bourdain. When she's not in school or at WSN, you can find her in the kitchen burning garlic or going for a run along the East River. Follow her latest eats on Instagram @gabriellalasagna.

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