Staff Recs: Artists We Wish Would Play the Super Bowl Halftime Show

Katy Perry headlined the Super Bowl Halftime Show last year, and as much as we love Coldplay, the WSN staff thinks another artist could play the show better.

This Sunday’s Super Bowl is a highly anticipated matchup between the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos. But more importantly, and presumably less violent, is the Super Bowl Halftime Show. This year’s headliner is Coldplay, who will be joined onstage by previous halftime show performers Beyonce, Bruno Mars and Left Shark (hopefully). No offense to Coldplay—we’ve all cried listening to “Yellow,” or maybe it’s just me—but we, as a nation, can do better. Here are some artists that the WSN staff thinks should play the show.

 

The Flaming Lips

Any standard Flaming Lips show features $3,000 worth of confetti, elaborate pyrotechnics, an LED screen backdrop with eyeballs on it, giant blow-up hands shooting lasers and, of course, Wayne Coyne’s signature human-sized hamster ball. Imagine the budget for a Super Bowl show. Letting the Lips run wild with their characteristically insane, elaborate show will confound many but their anthemic, psychedelic sound is meant for a massive stadium. The only caveat is, I’d prefer if they didn’t bring Miley Cyrus along. —Zach Martin, Arts Editor

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“Weird Al” Yankovic

“Weird Al” Yankovic is an artist, plain and simple. The man crafts stunning tracks, transforming shoddy songs into worthwhile cultural texts. He is, and I think most would agree with me here, the greatest musical force since Beethoven. In all actuality, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who dislikes “Weird Al,” particularly during this wave of ‘90s nostalgia. His performance during the halftime of a Super Bowl would be legendary — a mix of his greatest parodies infused with raucous accordion, uncomfortable yet enthusiastic dancing and plenty of Hawaiian shirts. Last year, a petition went around trying to get him to play at Super Bowl XLIX. Let’s pick up where our countrymen left off and get “Weird Al” to play at LI. —Ethan Sapienza, Film Editor

 

Cannibal Corpse

I’m not a particular fan of Cannibal Corpse, nor do I know much about the death metal landscape in general. But what I do know is that football is a sport involving big muscle men slamming into other big muscle men. For however much we may not like to address it, football has an impenetrable heart of stone at its core. It’s aggressive, it’s mean, it’s loud and brutal and unforgiving. And if the Super Bowl is meant to bring out the best of the best in football, naturally it needs to bring out the deepest darkest recesses of anger in its players as well. Just once, I’d like to see the Super Bowl let loose, forget about wide commercial appeal and just let the football players football as hard as they can. And if any halftime show can give football players that gale-force second wind they need, it’s death metal. —Richard Shu, Opinion Editor


Guns N’ Roses

I wish that Guns N’ Roses would play the Super Bowl halftime show. Just imagine, the fog machine whirring, strobe lights dancing wildly across the stage as the opening guitar riffs for “Welcome to The Jungle” begin to caress your pounding yet eager eardrums. Then you see them. Axl Rose and Slash  enter the stage in all their seasoned glory to grace your ears with classic jams that remind us of the good old days when songs actually had meaning. The band is reuniting to play Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival this upcoming April, as well as another venue in Mexico City. Why not play the Super Bowl? They most certainly aren’t getting any younger. —Dejarelle Gaines, Copy Chief

 

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