In the wake of the coronavirus outbreak, university administrators have come under fire for their response to student’s pleas for help. However, one administrator in particular has been scrutinized more than others: Tisch School of the Arts Dean Allyson Green. 

In a March 22 email to the Tisch community, Green informed students that there would be no tuition refunds, despite the sharp decrease in educational quality and lack of production equipment provided to students. Green said that she was not responsible for the decision and claimed that NYU simply cannot afford to refund tuitions, despite the school having a $4.3 billion endowment. Attached to the bottom of the email was a video of Green dancing freely to R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion.” 

The video has since sparked outrage in the NYU community with people calling the video tone-deaf, insensitive and as the Twitter user who originally circulated the video called it: embarrassing.

However, it appears that Dean Green has not learned her lesson from the first video she sent. One student told WSN that he received a second dancing video from the dean after he tested positive as one of the multiple Tisch students who were diagnosed with the coronavirus. 

Tisch Drama junior Stephen Peters was recovering in a Manhattan hospital when he received an email from Dean Green with another bizarre attachment. “She sent me a video of her dancing to Travis Scott’s hit song ‘Sicko Mode’ for some reason,” he told WSN between coughs. “I obviously know I’m in sicko mode, so a simple get well soon would have been nice.” 

But “get well soon” was not what the email said. “I understand you have entered sicko mode,” Green wrote. “I would love it if you would dance away the illness with me. Dancing always helps me forget about my problems, so I’m sure it will do more to help you than financial support ever could. So go on, get up and dance your heart out!”

“I was shocked,” said Peters, who is unable to “get up and dance” due to the decreased lung capacity caused by the coronavirus. “We’re in the middle of a pandemic and she’s just sending students videos of herself free-dancing. I understand that dancing is how she deals with emotions, and it’s how I do too, but what we need right now is support, not a webcam video.” 

“I know she’s a professional dancer,” Peters continued. “Had she choreographed a dance for me as a heartfelt message, that would be one thing. But in her attempt to comfort a sick member of her community, the best she could come up with was ‘drunk dad at your cousin’s wedding’?”

WSN reached out to Dean Green for comment and after receiving numerous dancing videos to songs like Ke$ha’s “Die Young”, CeeLo Green’s “F-ck You”, and Big Sean’s “I Don’t F-ck With You” in response, finally got a (somewhat) coherent answer. 

“Students just need to absorb the positive energy off of the dance through the screen,” Green wrote in her email, which included an attached video of her dancing and singing to Icona Pop’s “I Love It,” belting the lyrics “I threw your sh-t into a bag and pushed it down the stairs” and “I don’t care, I love it.” 

“Students asked for more support from the administration, and so I’m giving it to them,” Green wrote. “Nothing supports students and makes them feel better during a troubling situation than watching a two-minute video of me dancing in my house.”

Green continued, addressing the mixed reaction to her video. “In my email, I admitted that some of you ‘asked me not to play any music at this time.’” she wrote. “Should I stop? Maybe. But while I respect that opinion, it simply is wrong. Watching me dance will do more for you than any amount of money can — or at least that’s what Marc Wais told me. I plan to keep dancing as long as there’s one person out there who likes it. And that person is me.”

“We love that you’re doing something you enjoy,” responded Peters, “but can we please just get our money back?”

Off-Third is WSN’s satire section. Try not to take us too seriously.

This article is satirical, and all quotes and events are entirely fabricated unless stated otherwise.

Email Noah Friend at [email protected].