Staff Rants
On Manicures
By Lauren Gruber, Deputy Culture Editor
Let me preface this by saying I love getting my nails done. I love not being able to use my phone for thirty minutes while I make small talk with my nail technician. However, this supposedly relaxing experience is ruined by the gritty, scratchy texture of a nail file. The buzzy feeling against my fingertips sends chills up my spine every time I go in for a fresh set. Even worse is the motorized file used to remove gel polish. I try my hardest to conceal my cringe, but I end up squeezing my eyes shut and digging my free nails into my palm to distract myself from the horrendous sensation. Even writing this is making me squeamish. While the end result is usually worth the torture, I still dread that disgusting pink sandpaper stick from Hell. Beauty is pain.
On Weird Stickers
By Anna-Dmitry Muratova, Senior Reporter
You know those stickers with basketball players you used to get from arcades? Actually, you probably don’t know if you didn’t grow up in Russia in the early 2000s. Or was it an international thing? Either way, those holographic stickers had weird, graded surfaces. If you dragged your nail against the lines of the grading, it felt like a thousand angry cats scratching at your brain. I’ve always hated plastic holographic textures since. The noise they make and the feeling of your nails against the surface? Disgusting!
On Having Dry Skin
By Victor Porcelli, News Editor
You know the worst feeling in the world? Touching literally anything when you have dry skin. It doesn’t matter what the texture is, all it does is serve to remind you that your skin is dry. It’s just such an unsettling feeling, kind of like your hands are chalkboards … or maybe chalk? … I don’t know. Either way, that’s why I always carry a small container of lotion with me and I suggest you do too.
On Those Tiny Desks
By Melanie Pineda, Editor-at-Large
I sound like a grandmother writing this, but I remember my first lecture class as though it were yesterday. Environmental Studies, first year: one of the many required classes I would have to take in order to actually start learning what I was paying NYU to teach me. It wasn’t too bad — only about 80 kids or so, all crammed into a ridiculously small lecture hall with a pillar — which I could do an entire other rant about, but that’s a story for another time. That fateful day was when I realized that the chairs in these lecture halls were too small for my thighs. And in my four years at NYU since then, not a single one of those desks has magically grown in size. Thus, a years-long dilemma was born: I have had to learn to accept the fact that one of my legs will always have to dangle off of these ridiculously small desks’ chairs. Maybe in grad school I’ll look back on those chairs and the useless holes on the bottom of them and feel nostalgic. But for the next — and final — eight months of my time here at NYU, I will dread sitting on what is literally a pain in my ass.
Staff Raves
On Water
By Abby Hofstetter, Opinion Editor
God, I love water. Not as a drink — unless you pay for the high-quality filtered stuff, water tastes kind of rank. But water as a texture? Unbeatable. The combination of the absolute perfection of distilled water’s density (one? What else has a density of one?) and the feeling of weightlessness as you slip underwater seem like they should contradict one another, but they don’t. They just don’t! Water is both heavy and light; it’s both smooth and rough. It feels just as clear as it looks. Even when you drink it, it feels so light and soft on your tongue. Nothing else feels like that, and nothing else can. Am I insane? Water is just really cool. Shoutout to the universe for natural occurrences.
On Plants
Kaylee DeFreitas, Deputy Arts Editor
The most wonderful texture in the world is that of nature and plants. From philodendrons’ smooth leaves to the prickly spikes of a cactus to the rough bark of a tree, the life and array of textures that can be found in the plant world are something to behold. I own many plants, and while I could just sit around and stare at them, one of the joys in having plants is getting to revel in the delight that comes from all the different textures they have to offer. Whenever I am sitting at my desk stressing about work, I run my hands along the vines of my pothos that sits on the top of the shelf and instantly feel a sense of calm from its slick, glossy leaves. Our planet has so many wonders to take in, and the more that people begin to enjoy all it has to offer, the more they will respect and cherish it. The comfort that nature brings can only be fully enjoyed when one takes in textures it has to offer and not just its visual beauty. When someone does this, they begin to realize the life that exists all around us and the natural world is not for us to just use and abuse at our will.
On Silk
By Sam Brinton, Copy Chief
Okay, you can call me bougie or whatever, but silk is the best material with the best texture in the entire world. There’s a reason people call things like almond milk and lotion “silky” as a selling point. It’s because silk is so unbelievably, unbeatably soft and smooth. And on top of the amazing texture, it’s so versatile. It keeps my hair from being frizzy, makes my bedsheets nice and cool (and makes getting in bed after shaving my legs feel heavenly) and is always fashionable as a scarf on my bag or a shirt. Sure, it can be expensive, but the splurge is worth the smoothness. If I could have everything in my life be made out of silk, I would. Too bad I’m not a millionaire.
Opinions expressed on the editorial pages are not necessarily those of WSN, and our publication of opinions is not an endorsement of them.
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