HUMOR: Overflowing Dorm Trash Can Unable to Hold On Much Longer


Louis Rodriguez

Traumatized trash can can’t take it anymore

Noah Friend, Contributing Writer

BRITTANY RESIDENCE HALL — Deep inside the corner of a Brittany  dorm room, a trash can has been dutifully fulfilling his job and collecting all the waste in the room. Though it appears that his time has nearly come. It’s been a long four-week life for the trash can, and he has done his duty honorably.

“He’s started fading,” resident Joann Kern said. “Items have started to pile up precariously on the top, and trash has been falling out. Items never fell out when he was just a kid. He’s just not the same with age.”

The trash can was a descendant of a long line of hefty trash cans with an old and fabled history.

“I just wanted to be like Dad,” the trash can said. “He once held an entire melted pint of ice cream and didn’t break. Boy, I sure do miss him.”

On Saturday, when friends arrived to the dorm room with food from Upstein, it appeared as though the can’s time was limited.

“I hate to say this, but I think it might be time to pull the plug,” Kern said.

Surprisingly the trash can was able to hold the empty containers, though it may not be able to hold on for much longer.

E-mail Noah Friend at [email protected]