Dinner Date Horrors


Julia Moses

No matter how awful a date was at the time, we can now look back at it and laugh — hopefully.

Drew Lederman, Contributing Writer

Everyone has had that one date where something went horribly wrong. Maybe your date’s car broke down, your braces got caught on his when you kissed or maybe you accidentally ruined her favorite blouse. Although it may have been unbearable at the time, in retrospect these dates are usually incredibly funny.

Juice Cleanse Gone Wrong

Tisch freshman Loy Weissman’s Tinder match charmed her, and she decided to Netflix and chill at his house. About halfway through the movie he gave her some juice.

“It wasn’t even good juice, it was definitely off brand,” Weissman said. “Long story short, I’m gay now.”

She currently lives happily in her castle with Princess Charming and an entourage of singing birds.

The Classic Drink Spill

In a galaxy far, far away— also known as Westchester County — Gallatin freshman and die-hard romantic Michael Manzi decided to accompany his girlfriend to a bar mitzvah. Manzi stood up  to get some punch and knocked his penne alla vodka all over his date’s blue dress. Manzi comments, “I was very sorry.” He was also having trouble eating due to a recent wisdom teeth surgery, looking back, he called it an A+ day.

Unfortunate First Date

It was a dark and stormy night. It was also LS freshman Carmen Colosi and her now ex-boyfriend’s first date. They decided to visit a little cafe that he had been raving about for its famous white hot chocolate. He ordered two cups. When she finally sat down and took a sip, tragedy struck — it was so gross she could barely force herself to swallow it. But Colosi liked him so much that she told him she liked it and drank the entire cup. After finishing the beverage, Colosi could not keep it down.

“I excused myself and went to the bathroom to vomit,” Colosi said.

A Bad lo Mein, a Sacrificed Bathroom Rug

Three years ago, Tisch freshman Noah Burgess went on a date with his then boyfriend for Chinese food. Burgess ordered his favorite Chinese meal, lo mein. After finishing their meal, the couple made their way back to his boyfriend’s house. Everything was going smoothly until he suddenly began to feel nauseous. But, he was in serious denial of it.  Abruptly, he went to the bathroom and projectile vomited all over his boyfriend’s bathroom.

“The mess was so bad, he had to throw out the rug,” Burgess said.

Dates can be great and terrible, as we have seen from these solemn, cringe worthy stories. As humans, we are innately imperfect, prone to making frequent mistakes and often find ourselves in awkward situations to the fault of our social shortcomings. We frequently find ourselves getting stuck with bad luck, falling prey to forces outside our control. Navigating dinner dates can be dangerous and sometimes disastrous. Let these cautionary tales serve as a warning and hope you never have to live through a dinner date horror story of your own! Find yourself a partner that accepts you, and all your mishaps.

A version of this article appeared in the Tuesday, Feb. 21 print edition. Email Drew Lederman at [email protected]