Off-Third: “Anti-NYU” merch line now available at bookstore

Save showing your college pride for your hometown. It’s not welcome here.

A+student+walks+through+the+N.Y.U+Bookstore+entrance.

Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel

(Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel for WSN)

Lily Ritterman-Peña, Contributing Writer

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column.

To prepare for the arrival of the newly accepted class of 2027, NYU is stepping up its merch game with a new line of streetwear that is revolutionizing college merchandise. Instead of displaying admiration for the university, the new line, announced this week, expresses an explicitly anti-NYU sentiment.

The NYU merchandise team has been working tirelessly with artists across Manhattan to capture the authentic disdainful attitude endemic to New York City. Some of the featured designs include phrases such as “NYU Students Destroyed New York,” “I Pay $80,000 To Pretend I’m A New Yorker” and “Rubin Hall Ruined My Life.”

Other designs depict different NYU symbols in a negative and, at times, violent light. A sweatshirt depicting the 8th St–NYU subway station sign has the mention of the university viciously scribbled out in red. Another has the iconic NYU torch setting the bobcat mascot ablaze.

According to the head of merchandising, the department created the campaign to help NYU students feel more accepted within the city. A statement released alongside the merch drop reads, “To be seen as true New Yorkers, students should be prepared to actively express their hatred for this school that they attend.”

The hard truth of the matter is, no matter how much attending NYU means to you, you will never receive the full respect of locals in NYU apparel. Their distaste for the university transcends all. After the construction of the newly opened Paulson Center finally came to a close, one resident explained that the new crowds have “totally disrupted the flow of street traffic.”

One first-year student recalled, “I once entered a subway car wearing an NYU sweatshirt and the entire crowd waiting on the platform turned to me and basically told me that they wanted me dead.” Another student explained, “I made the mistake of wearing an NYU shirt on the way to class and four people attempted to pickpocket me.” Reportedly, even just wearing purple is enough to make you the next victim of glares, snide comments and public humiliation.

The merchandise aligns with a new initiative from NYU Welcome intended to train students to act more nonchalantly in New York. Some of the featured Welcome Seminars include “How To Not Act Like A NYU Student While Attending NYU” and “How To Post Online About New York Normally”. These courses, along with these new designs, are meant to give students the tools they need to properly blend into the city.

Being a college student is tough, but constantly attempting to prove you are not a college student in your college town while also showing school pride is nearly impossible. While our campus is the city, the city is not exclusively our campus. On the streets near Washington Square, students anxious to blend in avoid wearing NYU merchandise. Fortunately, students can blend in inconspicuously with these new designs, along with their discreet purple lanyards and giant Fjällräven backpacks.

NYU’s commitment to adjusting its merchandise illustrates the dedication that the university has to making its students feel comfortable and better adjusted to life in the city. Once again, NYU is taking the initiative of highlighting important issues, and then actually fixing them by doing something.

WSN’s Opinion section strives to publish ideas worth discussing. The views presented in the Opinion section are solely the views of the writer.

Contact Lily Ritterman-Peña at [email protected]