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On Tuesday, Sept. 17, NYU in Dialogue hosted “Shared Grief, Shared Hope: Holding Onto Humanity” in collaboration with the Parents Circle Families Forum. Four immensely brave individuals from Israel and Palestine traveled nearly 6,000 miles to share their heartbreaking yet inspirational stories with the shared goal of cultivating awareness of our individual and collective impact and to emphasize our intrinsic capacity for kindness and open, respectful communication.

Melissa Carter, senior director and head of mindfulness education and programs for Global Spiritual Life, termed the space as an environment to engage “through compassion, through candor, through curiosity [and] most importantly through love.” After leading a moment of silence, we entered into a sense of community through a shared moment of hands raised in solidarity.

“Let us all gather this evening under the umbrella of our shared humanity, our extraordinary grief and our deep love for each other — the place where our vulnerability is most revealed, and the potential for healing the most fertile,” President Linda Mills said, addressing the potential for growth, education, and listening.

It is a privilege to be trusted with vulnerabilities and deeply personal experiences concerning immeasurable trauma, terror and hatred; while simultaneously being reminded of the resiliency and immense power to choose a path of reconciliation, peace and love, rather than contributing to a self-destructive and thus a generational continuation of revenge and unnecessary suffering. As many of the panelists expressed, retribution does not restore loss of life — it instead subjects the innocent to drawn-out violence. 

This is not an attempt to sway strongly held convictions on values and morals, nor a claim that choosing sides, though often a double-edged sword, is inherently wrong. Instead, it is an opportunity to identify how repetitive, vicious conflict is mirrored in our own communities where we advocate for change. Though disagreement is inevitable, albeit essential, let us not abuse or neglect the foundational needs of others. It is far more productive and commendable to harness kindness, compassion and genuine understanding of your adversary than to discard their humanity. Isn’t the discarding of humanity the very opposite of our goals?

The field of peacebuilding is suffused with theories, concepts and approaches pertaining to post-conflict reconciliation and sustainable peace. It requires a combination of knowledge in history, psychology, social work, diplomacy and policy and the law, to name a few. At the most basic level, peacebuilding attempts to pursue an inclusive view to carefully build a non-judgemental framework that recognizes systemic failures and the varying forces responsible for injustice and oppression yet seeks the apertures for civil discourse and growth. 

At the heart of any peace work is the belief that progress can be made — change is possible with grace, understanding, forgiveness, love and time. If four bereaved individuals, and countless others, can forgive and grow their capacity to love, reconcile, and acknowledge the humanity of each other through their differences, why not us?

I appreciate those leading the In Dialogue series for their efforts to address discord, to promote intercultural dialogue and expand our worldview through stimulating engagements. If you are interested in learning more about the series and how you can make a difference in Palestine and Israel, please visit NYU in Dialogue. 

History has unfortunately shown us time and time again how the degradation and dehumanization of others provokes resentment and division, creating a breeding ground for harmful rhetoric, false narratives and assumptions and attempts to legitimize the erasure of people based on discrepant qualities, beliefs and distorted perceptions. The ability to listen with empathy and acknowledge the humanity of others, especially those you vehemently disagree with, is the foundation for progress. This strength demonstrates a shift in the status quo and constructs the space to recognize that similarities far outweigh differences, illustrating how healthy alliances within division are vital components to the healing process. Healing, however, does not conform to a one-size approach — it is a gradual, continuous practice involving self and social awareness, acknowledgment and community.

WSN’s Opinion section strives to publish ideas worth discussing. The views presented in the Opinion section are solely the views of the writer.

Contact Ashlie Oxford at [email protected]