Off-Third: NYU to Open Wyoming Campus
Hamilton insists “NYoming” is a good idea.
April 1, 2019
NYU President Andrew Hamilton revealed Sunday afternoon that the university will be adding a study away site in Wyoming. Hamilton accidentally let this slip during a lunch meeting with the university’s Board of Trustees at Weinstein Passport Dining Hall.
University Spokesman John Beckman confirmed that NYU Wyoming — or “NYoming,” as he insisted on calling it — will cater specifically to SPS Sports Management students concentrating in ‘Rodeo,’ Liberal Studies students looking to meditate in the wilderness and Gallatin students whose concentrations feature urban planning, sustainability and agriculture, among others.
“Due to the extremely low cost of land in Wyoming, we were able to obtain property roughly 10 times the size of NYU Abu Dhabi without incurring any extra costs to students, beyond the standard annual tuition increase,” Beckman said in a Twitter direct message to WSN.
NYoming will be “highly selective,” according to Hamilton. The three-semester program will only accept 15 students per round of applications and will have a minimum 3.8 GPA requirement.
“We know this seems extreme, but we want to make sure that students really want to come to NYoming,” Beckman said. When asked what the university will do with the remaining land if only 15 students will be attending, Beckman declined to comment, mumbling something under his breath about “Andy’s dude ranch.”
Gallatin sophomore Lily Voorhies is not deterred by the steep qualifications and plans on applying for next year.
“This is really convenient for me, considering I’m concentrating in Wyoming anyway,” she said.
An info session on the new study away site, titled “Don’t Be a Square — Come to NYoming!” will be held at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts on April 3. There will be free T-shirts.
This article is satirical, and all quotes and events are entirely fabricated. Happy April Fool’s Day!