I was never called a “f-g.” I never called anyone a “f-g.” I would never call someone a “f-g.”

I was often called a “d-ke” and, understandably, I’m not a fan of strangers yelling at me on the street. “D-ke” sounds sort of acceptable only from the lips of another (respectful) “d-ke” I’m flirting with at a bar. Thing is, “d-kes” don’t get beaten up in the streets (exceptions apply). “D-kes” tend to make it home in the middle of the night without getting spat on. “F-gs” don’t. “F-gs” get blows to the head and piss all over them. “F-gs” die in the streets; “d-kes” tend to walk unharmed. 

Don’t call someone a “f-g” if you don’t understand the weight and the pain this word carries. Don’t call someone a “f-g” even if you’ve been called a “f-g” yourself. Just don’t call someone else a “f-g.” 

Don’t appropriate the word that was never yours to begin with.

Email Anna-Dmitry at [email protected].