Staff Rants: Gym Edition

Whether it’s the uncomfortable locker room vibe or the person you can never avoid running into while aggressively panting on the treadmill, the gym has many rant-worthy moments.

WSN Staff

On Treadmill Vultures
By Melanie Pineda, Opinion Editor

My sophomore year, I would try to go to the gym at least twice a week — shocking, I know. The treadmill was something I dreaded at first, but ultimately ended up loving after building myself a workout routine that worked for me. Then came the woe that every student at the NYU gyms face —  the people who circle the treadmills when you’re clearly still running. I’ll admit, there were some days where I was that person; there’s only so many treadmills in the relatively tight spaces. But I wouldn’t obnoxiously make my presence known by stretching near the treadmills or circling around them like a predator to prey. I would, well, work out on literally any other machine. Treadmills aren’t the only option, and the bikes or weights or yoga matts will probably not hurt you. Please leave me to run in peace; your time to run in place will come, I promise.

On Weight-Droppers
By Victor Porcelli, News Editor

I think everyone can agree that it is not enjoyable to hear a loud slam from someone dropping large weights on the ground when you’re just trying to get a morning workout in. I’m already traumatized enough by my alarm bell that I snooze a minimum of four times, so I don’t need to hear a giant crash that makes me jump out of my skin just because someone needs everyone to look at how! much! weight! they’re! lifting! If you can’t slowly place the weight on the ground, guess what? Lower the weight. It’s also dangerous, potentially damaging to the floor and just rude!

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On the Gym Selfie:
By Sarah John, Deputy Opinion Editor

There is a gym selfie quota. I haven’t determined exactly what it is yet, but believe me, it exists, and if you are taking daily gym selfies then you are most certainly breaking it. The gym selfie is my least favorite type of selfie. We all know what working out at the gym looks like. If you want to show off how fit you are, take a scenic hiking photo please! That’s a step up from a picture of you all sweaty, crouching down next to gym equipment.

On Gym Etiquette and the Gym Elite:
By Lauren Gruber, Deputy Copy Chief

The gym is, frankly, disgusting. Nothing is worse than finally getting a spot in the stretching area in Palladium and seeing the mat slick with back sweat, or the rope on the pulley system literally reeking of other people’s sweaty hands. Please, fellow students, learn proper gym etiquette and use the cleaning spray after you get butt sweat all over the hip abductor seats! Sincerely, a germaphobe.

Also, as someone who finally convinced herself to start working out more, I hate seeing how much more in shape other people at the gym are than I am. Nothing compares to the shame of seeing that the person who used the leg press before you had the weight at 200 pounds, and you’re struggling to press 90. Or when I can barely see through the sweat running into my eyes and the person next to me on the elliptical is barely flushed after running for twice as long as me. If NYU could install private gyms in each dorm room to save me the embarrassment, that would be great.

The Importance of Workout Music and an Uninterrupted Workout:
By Guru Ramanathan, Arts Editor

I don’t mind social interaction at the gym but I just prefer to avoid it altogether. I just want to listen to my playlist, exercise and focus on myself for a bit. And yet, some people find ways to ruin all of these things in one fell swoop. I’m talking about the disrespectful gym patrons who, while I am in the middle of a set, try to come talk to me, make some weird hand motions and question me on how much longer I will be using a certain machine or set of weights. First, I can’t hear because music is blasting through my ears. Also, I don’t want to hear you because I am trying to exercise and I figured it would be pretty obvious whether or not I am done yet. It’s not like there’s only one machine at the gym. If something is being occupied, either wait until someone is done with their set or just find something else to do.

Also, I need music to work out. It feels like a crime on my body, mind and soul to come to the gym without my headphones. It’s as simple as that. Thus, I absolutely hate it when I get to the gym without music for some reason: my phone loses battery, my headphones lose battery, I forget my headphones, who knows. Admittedly there have been times where I just immediately leave the gym if one of those things happen. Also, think about the alternative: have your ears flooded by your gym’s poor playlist which you can barely listen to anyway because it is being overpowered by the grating sound of machines. I need music, but it also needs to be my music.

On People Who Can’t Wait Their Turn:
By Hannah Khosravi, Opinion Editor

Once when I was on the abdominal machine at the gym, one set in, a grown man who was standing by, lurking and waiting for the machine, actually walked up to me with the intention of grabbing at the bars, aggressively hollered “OK, I think that’s enough” and told me it was time to get off. I was so genuinely shocked at this manifestation of inter-gym rage that I didn’t know how to react. Sure, we’ve all waited for an elliptical or a treadmill or a set of weights before, but have we ever nearly jumped someone out of frustration? I don’t know if this is as much a rant as it is a public retelling of a very strange incident that one time occurred on a Sunday at the gym. But maybe it is also a PSA to chill out and wait your gosh darn turn.

Email WSN Staff at [email protected]

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