This week, WSN went into NYU’s Catholic Center — the building next to the Kimmel Center for University Life that looks like a block of cheese — to interview students about the brave sacrifices they’re making for Lent this year.
The first student WSN interviewed, Brian Adams, a sophomore from Kentucky, said he would be giving up paying for his tuition at NYU. “It’s just what I felt God would want me to do,” Adams said.
CAS senior Marissa McCann from Long Island said she will be giving up school entirely for Lent.
“At first, I was just gonna give up homework, but then I remembered that Jesus gave himself for us. If I really want to repay him for that, I have to give up something that really means something to me,” Marissa declared, wiping a tear from her eye.
If the university objected to either demand, both students swore to sue for religious discrimination and just for the hell of it, running a ponzi scheme.
Father Liebowitz, a priest at the Catholic Center, dished that he will be giving up taxes this season.
“I’d do absolutely anything for my lord and savior Jesus Christ,” Liebowitz said before throwing a smoke pellet and running for the door.
An anonymous student, who may or may not actually be Catholic, announced that this year, she will be giving up her will to live respectably. For the next month, she plans to only eat carbs, wear sweatpants, poorly apply too much eyeliner and cut off chunks of her hair to donate to her collection of voodoo dolls.
Email Genevieve Goodman at [email protected]