HUMOR: Pigeon Man Grants Final Wish Before Flying South For Winter

By Louis Rodriguez, Humor Editor

The kindred spirit of Washington Square Park is setting off for warmer pastures again this semester, making sure to make one more wish come true for an NYU Freshman.

“You always know the time is coming but now it’s actually here. My year wouldn’t have been the same if it wasn’t for Pigeon Man,” a Gallatin junior lamented, asking for a moment to compose himself.

“When I went off my meal plan, he fed me bird feed for an entire semester. I would have starved,” one Stern senior reminisced.

When it was time to say goodbye, eyewitnesses reported seeing a whirlwind of gray birds engulf the man who then lifted off and flopped away into the horizon.

Although she asked not to be named, the lucky freshman revealed that all she wanted was for Pigeon Man to have a safe trip south and to come back next year with a red firetruck and the Nintendo Switch.

When asked for a comment, Pigeon Man referred us to his office, which stated: “Cooo, cooooo.

For steamy e-mails or cries for help, please contact [email protected]