Staff Rants March 1-7
Mar 6, 2017
As we move along in our unrelenting march towards death, our lovely staff has a lot to say about pizza and bagels!
On Pineapple Pizza:
Honestly, the beef with pineapple on pizza needs to end. How could anyone hate such a perfectly delicious combination of foods? When you bite into a slice of pineapple pizza, the saltiness of the pizza blends perfectly with the sweetness of the fruit, creating the most incredible taste. Even better, you can pair the already wonderful combination of pineapples and pizza with ham for a sweet and savory experience. And vegetarians, don’t worry — just eating pineapples on pizza alone will be enough to satisfy your pizza pie needs. — Natasha Roy, News Editor
Living in New York City comes with a plethora of wonderful benefits. I have been graced with the glorious privilege of New York bagels. How my taste buds tingle at the thought of an everything bagel at the nearest cafe to my class as I bound in, only to have all my hopes, dreams and aspirations crushed right in front of me. I should clarify. I walked into a cafe to get an everything bagel only to be told that all they had left was cinnamon raisin. It was awful. — Tom Price, Opinion Editor
Do You Want a Pizza This?
Ok so, everyone is arguing about whether we should be eating pizza with or without pineapples, but we have been overlooking the real question: where should we get our pizza from? The focus of my rant this week is people who eat pizza from places that, simply put, don’t make good pizza — like Joe’s Pizza for example. Just because a pizza place was featured in Batman 20 million years ago doesn’t mean that you should overlook all ethics, morality and good sense to eat a piece of cardboard covered in string cheese. If you aren’t eating Gotham pizza, then you should be banned from eating any pizza. — Jemima McEvoy, News Editor
Joe’s Pizza is far better than the flimsy, greasy excuse for a slice of pizza at Gotham. Just thought the audience should be informed. — Tom Price, Opinion Editor
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