While technology can both maintain and catalyze modern romances, it can also be used as a weapon against hopeless romantics. “Modern Romance”, by NYU alumnus Aziz Ansari, is a must read for anyone who finds themselves looking for love in the information age. Ansari chronicles the dating atrocities that plague our modern world, including the concept of ghosting, or ending a relationship with someone by suddenly cutting off all communication. However, there is a new trend far more deplorable. Breadcrumbing, or leading people on through short and infrequent text messages and other strategies, is the new ghosting and unfortunately, Ansari has yet to publish a survival guide.

The only thing worse than rejection is being led on. If these breadcrumbers are too cowardly to directly communicate their disinterest in a former prospect, they should just end all contact. Breadcrumbers will send you sporadic text messages, slide into your DMs and throw you the occasional like on Instagram without any intentions of developing something substantial. Breadcrumbers keep you hanging by a digital thread with no hope of any real connection developing. Instead, you remain a potential booty call or, even worse, an abstraction that validates their ego. Breadcrumbers do not want you to move on but instead want you at their mercy. If any of this reminds you of an ongoing game you were not aware you consented to, you are most likely following a trail of digital crumbs leading nowhere fast. This strategy is especially effective at NYU, where it is highly unlikely you will run into a former flame. Why waste any more of one another’s time? Further contact will only confuse the person you left in limbo.

Why do breadcrumbers leave a trail to disappointment? The New York Times recently tried to explain the habits of these deplorable communicators. Sometimes, your breadcrumber can be an ex who is not ready to let you go yet. Some breadcrumbers keep their victims on hold as potential dating prospects. However, this situation seems to be a particularly grim predecessor to a relationship. The most atrocious breadcrumbers are merely using you for self-validation. These individuals are not interested in you but are instead interested in maintaining a spot on your radar.

How can you beat breadcrumbers at their own game? The New York Times suggests responding to messages using less words than the breadcrumber. However, this may further perpetuate the ongoing torture, or worse, inspire the breadcrumber to put in more effort. Do yourself a favor and ghost said breadcrumber. Do not give him or her any more validation. Instead, find that special someone who will make you a top priority.

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