Jesus Camp

This documentary centers on an evangelical Christian summer camp in North Dakota where the instructors guide the kids to join the “the army of God” and instill in them staunchly conservative Christian values, like how reading “Harry Potter” promotes witchcraft and that homosexuality is a sin. Though these are real issues, it’s a bit heavy to open your romance with a serious discussion of the effects of organized religion. If your goal is to tap into a deeply-repressed well of childhood trauma, I would save that for the third date. — Zach Martin, Arts Editor

Gone Girl

This psychological thriller is fantastic and those who haven’t watched it definitely should, but why would you choose it for a first date? Main character Amy’s abusive, possessive nature is definitely not somewhere a new couple wants to think of their relationship heading. Also, the violence and blood is anything but romantic. Watch this for a suspense-filled scary movie night with friends, but a first date would be much better with something less twisted. — Ali Webb, Violet Vision Editor

Pulp Fiction

While “Pulp Fiction” is undeniably a classic Tarantino film, stay away from it for a first date — I assure you of this. I once went to my school’s film club screening of the flick with a boy I had just begun dating earlier that week. Neither of us had previously seen the film, or any of Tarantino’s other productions. We watched uncomfortably for the duration of the film as heads exploded, large needles were put to use and general violations of bodily safety occurred. Not cute. Not romantic. Not endearing in any way. There’s little to no chance of recovery for at least 24 hours afterwards. — Hailey Nuthals, Highlighter Editor

The Revenant

What’s the best way to show your date that you are an impressive, self-made, and determined person? Why, take them to see “The Revenant,” the film that finally netted Leonardo DiCaprio his first Oscar. Taking your date to an award-winning film sounds like a good idea on paper, but doing some research beforehand would’ve been the smarter move. The beautiful cinematography of the film and the superb acting from DiCaprio and Tom Hardy created a captivating experience in the first hour, marred only by the fact that the next three hours were reduced to a greatest-hits compilation of DiCaprio’s best agonized screams. “The Revenant” is the type of film that the academy loves; gritty, engaging and psychological. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the best choice for a first date — it’s hard to keep your snacks down when the camera pans to a well-composed shot of DiCaprio sleeping inside of a horse’s corpse. Don’t make the mistake I did, go see something like “Zootopia” instead. — Emily Fong, Deputy Opinion Editor

The Human Centipede

From the first innuendo of head/ass connections to the third (and thankfully last) movie, The Human Centipede movies do not belong anywhere during the first date: not in sight or conversation. Nothing in the movie except for the nudity — which is in no way sexual — should act as a turn-on during this exciting first night.  And if your date suggests and enjoys watching any part of The Human Centipede trilogy, that might act as a sign to make the outing your last date together. — Diamond Naga Siu, Deputy News Editor

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