The Sports Kid Column: Rip All Your Friends Off on Super Bowl Sunday

Bobby Wagner, Managing Editor
February 5, 2016

I don’t lose a whole lot of bets. It’s one of my calling cards. One time I risked getting a wicked hand-print on my face when I slap-bet a friend of mine that Dennis Rodman never averaged 20 rebounds per game in his NBA career. He averaged 18.7 in ‘91-’92. That was way too close for my comfort. But, just last week, I had to carry out my end of a lost bet. Man, I hate Draymond Green.

I stupidly bet my roommate from Oakland — the editor-in-chief of this paper, Alex Bazeley — that the Cavs would beat the Warriors on Christmas Day. Now, I’m one embarrassing day wearing a Draymond Green jersey and a McDonald’s meal in debt. I’m lovin’ it, I guess.

In case you’ve been living under a rock the last two weeks — or in case you’re just an average NYU student — the Super Bowl is this Sunday. The Big Game is the biggest sports gathering of the year, and it is the most watched sporting event in the United States. It’s also one of the biggest betting days in the sports calendar. You can bet on just about anything. No, really. Anything.

But, seeing as NYU students are often strapped for cash, you probably shouldn’t be throwing thousands of dollars on what color the liquid is that gets poured on the winning coach (side note: if you are betting on that, go red. The odds are savory). Even still, making bets among friends can add enjoyment to even the most boring Super Bowl, or the saddest unraveling of your team on Christmas Day. Not that this Super Bowl will be boring, but can’t you imagine it being over before the third quarter even starts?

I know that this is only the second week of this column, and I’m already sort of breaking my own rules, but we’re going to merge the list and the article this Friday — in honor of the holiest of holidays that benefits awful corporations. Here are some fake prop bets to make among your friends while watching the game together:

  1. Someone in your friend group will utter some version of the sentence, “Beyoncé’s halftime performance was the best part about this game.”

Yes -120 (4/5)

No +160 (5/2)

Can you really fault them? Beyoncé is the best part of most things.

  1. Along the same lines, someone in your friend group will say, “I don’t even like football. I’m just watching for the commercials.”

Yes -600 (1/6)

No +1100 (11/1)

You know you want to bet yes, but you better bet big if you want to make any money. And you could arguably pay off some student loans if you wanna bet no here.

  1. In what quarter will someone spill something?

First +160 (5/2)

Second +150 (5/3)

Halftime -300 (1/3)

Third (EVEN, 1/1)

Fourth (EVEN, 1/1)

Halftime is chaos during the Super Bowl. Everyone is trying to eat. You have your seven-layer dips. You have your hoagies, wings and pizza. You have your adult beverages. Anything could happen, and that usually means bad news for your clothes, especially if you weren’t planning on doing laundry for another month like me.

  1. A wardrobe malfunction occurs.

Chris Martin +700 (7/1)

Beyoncé +200 (2/1)

Bruno Mars +350 (7/2)

Jay-Z +1500 (15/1)

After the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake incident, it’s highly unlikely that they’ll have another wardrobe malfunction. But hey, you never know, Jay-Z might come out and lose his pants and you could get rich.

  1. How many times will Peyton Manning’s forehead take up more than 30% of the frame?

Over 2.5 +150 (3/2)

Under 2.5 -110 (10/11)

This one is sort of hard to measure, but I couldn’t very well write over 700 words on a Super Bowl involving Manning without mentioning his forehead. What kind of journalist would I be? You could land a plane on that thing.

via GIPHY

Bet responsibly, kids.

 

The ideas expressed on this page are the opinions of the author and are not meant to be taken as an endorsement from WSN.

Email Bobby Wagner at [email protected].