NEW YORK, NY — Moaning and groaning over extremely low internship prospects, NYU students condemned the job market as a whole last week for its impractical requirements for entry-level internships.

“Why does this random internship at a tiny production company, famous for a local mattress store commercial, require two previous internships?” Brandon Buikema, an aspiring writer-director at Tisch, questioned.  

Buikema added that he could only get internship interviews when the employer misread his resume. “It made for a pretty awkward time,” he concluded.

“Ninety-nine percent of internship positions were filled before they were posted,” Television Management Professor Evan Shapiro said, putting it bluntly.

Investigative reports have been working to reveal the many complex intern-hiring processes in the industry today.

According to general suspicion, about 75 percent of internships are hired because of nepotism — the classic “having an uncle in the biz.” So until the time that internships are based on a first-come, first-serve basis, students should attempt to marry into some famous families seen around the streets of New York.

Email Ben Eisenberg at [email protected]