Americans who move back home after college are perceived to have hit rock bottom. The return suggests laziness, financial struggle and an inability to adapt to the real world. For their parents, the return of a 20-something-year-old child can be a source of embarrassment, a sign of regression. As the daughter of South Asian immigrants, however, I have never felt pressured to leave home post-graduation. In my family, my staying home after college would be neither a last resort nor a temporary agreement after which they kick me out or start charging rent. Rather, it would be a means of staying close to my parents and relatives to whom I owe so much. Americans equate moving out as proof of maturation, but many cultures view living at home as a deep commitment to family.

In recent years, a recovering economy has driven thousands of college graduates back to their parents’ doorsteps. While these newly-minted adults are busy searching for a job from their former-basement bedroom, parents are left to tackle this increasingly common trend, questioning whether they should embrace their child’s involuntary return or encourage them to leave. Moving out certainly has its advantages. To live alone is to learn how to make adult decisions and become responsible. But these qualities are not incompatible with living at home. As a member of a large but close-knit extended family, I know several relatives who live with their parents yet maintain a steady income. Living at home does not deter hard work. Just as crucially, staying with family actually comes with its own unique set of responsibilities, such as taking care of elderly parents or grandparents. These experiences can be as conducive to maturity as the challenges of living alone.

In Asian cultures, closeness of the immediate and extended family is the highest priority. Living at home until marriage is an expectation, and moving out at eighteen — a very American idea — holds little weight. In fact, Asian-Americans are twice as likely as Caucasians to live in multigenerational households. The cultural centrality of family life results in less pressure to abandon the nest and, in my experience, breeds respect for elders. I have no idea where I will live after graduation, but it is unlikely I will move across the country. I hope to stay close to my family and take care of my aging parents. If I end up at home, it will not be because of a sense of personal failure.

 Email Zahra Haque at [email protected].