Yesterday, the Tea Party became the first political caucus to produce, write and direct their own feature length film. One faction within one house within one branch of government took it upon themselves to release “Obamascare: The Wave of Socialist Terror that Will Destroy America.” They have proved how productive the Tea Party can actually be when they’re not distracted by the pesky job of being elected representatives.

Despite its lofty ambitions, the film met a somewhat hesitant reception at the box office, and is expected to only appeal to an increasingly smaller proportion of the country. Perhaps the film was a little too intense for the politically responsible.

Admittedly, the film’s plot can be confusing at points. The opening shot is a panoramic view of a devastated and burning structure built on sand — a place the audience will later come to know as The People’s Hospital. The camera descends through layers of fogs to the hospital’s entrance where doctors beg in the hallways with signs reading, “I might as well be unemployed now,” and “I didn’t go to medical school for this.” Around the corner, illuminated by neon signs, is the epicenter of the films horror — President Barack Obama’s infamous death panels.

Some critics did take some umbridge with the fictitious aspects of the two-hour horror show. Both The New York Times and The Guardian used the adjective “offensive,” in reference to scenes of patients being examined by a larger-than-life, malevolent looking Uncle Sam snapping on rubber gloves and playing with a specula. Moreover, some have suggested that scenes in which Obama signs mandates to carry out federally funded abortions, or images of the elderly being subjected to mandatory euthanasia, are slightly exaggerated and perhaps a little disingenuous.

Halfway through the film, The People’s Hospital slowly starts to sink into the sand. Patients run in terror away from the Uncle Sam doctors, as the structure’s foundations begin to snap. The camera zooms in on a small group of people dressed in old coats, loose trousers and straw hats decorated with dangling tea bags.

The second part of the film follows this group of men and women as they descend into Washington, D.C. The nation’s capital has become overrun with the tyranny of social welfare programs and raised taxes. Critics questioned, as the camera centers in on a flagpole, why the stars on the American flag were replaced with a hammer and sickle. But they felt it was better to accept it as part of an altogether surreal cinematic experience.

Film enthusiasts will leave their neighborhood cinemas this weekend with a few questions. Why do they think Obama is a Muslim? Why do they keep talking about his birth certificate? There is no way they think he’s neo-Leninist, right? One thing remains for sure though. The film was terrifying.

This story is part of our fictitious coverage in celebration of Halloween 2013. All people and events in the story are fictional.

A version of this article appeared in the Thursday, Oct. 31 print edition. Jack Torrance is an alcoholic who goes crazy while maintaining the Overlook Hotel in Colorado. Email him at [email protected].