Making student films, especially for classes in the Tisch School of the Arts, can be daunting. For Tisch sophomore James Weaver, who submitted a short film of aliens landing on Earth and declaring war, it invoked real terror because the events in his film actually occurred.
According to news outlets, social media and anyone looking out the window, it is apparent that alien invaders are conquering New York City and will likely continue on to the rest of the planet, dooming us all.
On Oct. 22, Weaver turned in a video to his Sight and Sound class of himself witnessing an unidentified flying object landing by the Hudson River. A number of tall, dark figures with what appeared to be tusks and webbed hands subsequently chased him through the streets while making vuvuzela-like sounds.
The film received high praise from his classmates and professor, who ignored Weaver’s repeated cries of “This isn’t a project!” and “Aliens are invading!”
“He seemed really upset about something, even though he got nothing but kind words from the professor,” Tisch sophomore Grace Bishop said as extraterrestrial blaster fire destroyed the windows behind her, revealing the flashing lights and destruction the aliens were leaving in their wake. “I was pretty mad at first, since not all of us can afford to put such fancy special effects in our films. Come on James, don’t show off.”
Bishop admitted she probably owed Weaver something of an apology right before the walls and roof above shook thunderously, leading to a quick evacuation.
Professor of film studies Veronica Lambert was disappointed to see Weaver did not complete the assignment properly, despite his pleas that she wasn’t listening and there were more important matters to think about, such as the impending invasion.
“We have high standards at the film department here at NYU,” Lambert said. “And it seems very clear to me now that James didn’t make a fiction film, which was the assignment. He simply recorded something ‘cool’ that he saw…”
Lambert was unable to finish her sentence as a white light washed over the park bench where she was sitting, lifting her into the air and up into an alien spacecraft.
Weaver, unavailable for comment, was last seen filming a sequel to his film, which involved a towering monster released by the aliens — a horrific half-man and half-goat beast, with a gaping jaw like that of a whale and slender hands ending in long, clawed talons. Weaver’s classmates are reportedly excited to see the movie if the footage is ever found.
This story is part of our fictitious coverage in celebration of Halloween 2013. All people and events in the story are fictional.
A version of this article appeared in the Thursday, Oct. 31 print edition. The Hash-Slinging Slasher is the subject of a ghost story in “Spongebob Squarepants.” Email him at [email protected]