BUENOS AIRES -— Coming of age in a society in which kids cannot wait to grow up and start their own lives, I always thought that we had to leave our parents when we got older. I envisioned myself moving to California after graduation and never looking back. But instead, I ended up in New York City, just 20 miles away from the house I grew up in. I can see my parents whenever I want by hopping on a train for 40 minutes. And I live in a place I have known for most of my life. Does this mean I have not grown up, become independent and moved on from my
childhood life?

For a while, I thought that by staying physically close to my past, I remained there emotionally and mentally as well. But then I came to Argentina and learned how another culture dealt with coming of age and maturity.

In Buenos Aires, it is not uncommon for people to live at home until they are more than 30 years old or even until they get married. Many of my friends have been able to witness this first-hand — one classmate lives with a host brother who is 37 years old and still under his parents’ roof. Children tend to go to university in the city in which they live. For ease and financial reasons, they live at home during their schooling and continue to do so well into their 30s. This is not seen as being lazy or unsuccessful; it is simply part of a strong
family culture.

Toward the beginning of the program, I had lunch with a family friend of ours from a province just north of Buenos Aires, and we talked about this clear difference between our two cultures. Her son just started university and is living at home, and she has two younger daughters who are not far behind him. She cannot imagine how difficult it will be the day her children move out, and fortunately, she might not have to for a while.

Of course, in the United States, parents are equally freaked out by their children’s departure for the real world, but it is also seen
as unavoidable.

American children seem very bent on getting out. I never considered this pattern as anything other than the natural progression of things, but after living here for a few months and missing the comforts of home on more than a few occasions, I see that moving within the confines of your family circle is just as natural as moving outside of it. Americans move away to build their own lives and figure out who they are. Argentines find that they can have their own lives while still remaining a part of their parents’.

I definitely do not want to be living at home when I am 37, or even 27. But living in Buenos Aires has taught me that wanting to be close to your family and your roots does not imply a lack of independence. Rather, it is an acknowledgment of  — a celebration of that which made you who you are.

A version of this article appeared in the Wednesday, Nov. 14 print edition. Suzi Brown is a foreign correspondent. Email her at [email protected].