Ask any elementary school student for his or her favorite school event and you will undoubtedly hear from most that it is the father-daughter dance  or mother-son ballgame that traditionally takes place year after year. Most public schools have some form of parent-child bonding planned, and they always involve smiling children and proud, happy parents.

This tradition has officially ended in the Cranston, Rhode Island school district. A single mother in the area complained to the American Civil Liberties Union that her daughter was unable to attend her school’s father-daughter dance as her father was no longer around. Amid subsequent complaints, the school’s attorney found a constitutional challenge to the parent-child events based on a further allegation that the dances fostered gender discrimination by promoting the notion that girls should attend dances and boys should play sports.

You may be wondering how this comes close to the threshold of a constitutional challenge, as I was wondering that myself. Federal gender discrimination laws make exceptions for parent-child affairs like mother-son baseball games and father-daughter dances, but Rhode Island state law does not. Thus, Judith Lundsten, the Cranston School superintendent, called a ban on gender-specific events following the school attorney’s findings of unconstitutionality and the ACLU’s agreement on the matter.

First off, I’m slightly confused as to how Rhode Island’s children are more adversely affected by the gender stereotyping of such parent-child events than other children in the rest of the country are. Does this mean it’s okay for girls in Pennsylvania to be under the impression that they should like dances and boys should like sporting events? What about in New Jersey? If federal gender discrimination laws make exceptions for father-daughter dances and mother-son baseball games, I don’t see any reason why Rhode Island shouldn’t do the same.

Secondly, I don’t see how bonding time between fathers and daughters at a school dance or mothers and sons at a baseball game amounts to gender stereotyping. Yes, it may superficially give off the idea that girls enjoy dances and boys enjoy sports, but so what? Are these events that occur once every year really convincing children that they should conform to a gender role? I don’t think so. Steven Brown of the Rhode Island ACLU defends the school district’s ban. “In 2012, not every girl necessarily wants to grow up and be Cinderella,” Brown said. “Some might actually like to go out on the baseball field, and a public school of all places should not be suggesting otherwise.”

What Brown says is certainly true — not all girls like dressing up and attending dances. Some do want to play sports. My response to his statement is “Who’s stopping them?” Who is telling these girls that they cannot play sports and must enjoy going to dances? Just because a public school is hosting a father-daughter dance does not necessarily mean they are endorsing the idea that girls must enjoy dances and only dances. To draw that parallel is simply ridiculous. I do feel for the young girl or boy who doesn’t have a father-figure or mother-figure in his or her life and feels left out for that reason. This I can understand. These situations are deeply unfortunate. However, I don’t think this issue can be clumped with the issue of gender-stereotyping. While one is a sad reality, the other is purely a fabrication and not nearly enough of a reason to ban the events altogether.

I look back at my elementary school years and still remember how excited I was to get all dressed up and dance with my dad on the night of the father-daughter dance. I remember looking forward to that night every single year. And I can’t imagine taking that feeling away from generations of young girls to come.

Brittany Sherman is a staff columnist. Email her at [email protected].