Ranked: Dorm Hookup Spots

Loving an ex from a distance is not only possible, but can also teach you about yourself.

Under the Arch

Ranked: Dorm Hookup Spots

What campus residence hall would be the best place to act on it? We’ve ranked the five best five worst NYU dorms to hook up in. So, when you’re deciding which sneaky link to spend time with, maybe this will help.

A wide shot of Brittany Hall from across the street.

Brittany Hall (Qianshan Weng for WSN)

Jules Hasler, Contributing Writer | Feb 26, 2023

The Worst

5. Gramercy Green

(Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel for WSN)

I think this dorm gets too much hype. It’s high up in the rankings for its modernity and cleanliness, along with the decent size of rooms and common areas. However, Gramercy’s walls are paper-thin, and the bedrooms share walls with the kitchens — I wouldn’t want to be getting it on with anyone else remotely in the vicinity. Still, conditions could be worse, so we’ll crown it the best of the worst.


4. Third Avenue North

(Amory Gao for WSN)

In a suite with 12 people, exactly how do you expect to get privacy? There are always people, left, right and center, and the fear of getting caught in the act would likely be strong enough to kill any sort of mood that one could possibly attempt to create in a residence hall. The common area has multiple couches, but do you really want to get freaky on cushions that are probably growing children of their own? The one plus would be the ability to grab a sandwich from Heavenly Market and Deli on your way out — arguably more satisfying than the hookup itself.


3. Carlyle Court

The exterior facade of Caryle Court is shown from across the street.
(Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel for WSN)

Carlyle would have been an incredibly average place to hook up if both bedrooms in the suite had proper doors. The walls are also incredibly thin, and the short hallways allow sound to travel all throughout the cramped apartment — further eliminating any feeling of secrecy. To top it all off, the lovely natural light from the big windows unfortunately means that interior rooms look either right across to the other towers, or directly down into the courtyard. You’d better make sure those blinds are shut tight. If you’re getting down and dirty here, expect an audience!


2. Rubin Hall

The exterior of NYU’s Rubin Hall on Fifth Avenue. There are two NYU flags hanging outside the entrance with a green sunshade, and there are pedestrians passing by the building. The sun shines on the upper floors of the building.
(Kevin Wu for WSN)

This one should come as no surprise. In fact, I bet many people would immediately assume it to be the No. 1 worst. In a scenario that is already a little sweaty, why would you want to elevate the clammy experience with a lack of air conditioning? Don’t forget the sound-blocking that a good AC unit could supply; with those thin Rubin walls, either blast some music or keep it quiet! Oh, and let’s not forget those rooms with bunk beds — there’s no pain quite like hitting your head on those wire bed frames atop the bottom bunk. However, maybe struggling through all these environmental issues together could create a romantic vibe. Something about a trauma bond?


1. Weinstein Hall

Weinstein Hall during the afternoon hours, relatively close to sunset. A burst of yellow sunlight can be seen bouncing off of the top portion of the brick exterior of the building. Passersby can be seen walking and standing in front of the residence hall.
(Andy Lin for WSN)

You heard it here first: Weinstein is the worst dorm to hook up in. This place feels like a jail cell in terms of its size, amount of light and overall mood. Though the cinder block walls provide some pretty great sound insulation, they are reminiscent of an elementary school classroom, which really kills the mood. Plus, with such a small room, who would even need a hookup when you and your roommate can just reach your arms out and hold hands from your respective beds? Long story short, you won’t feel very intimate here. The only arguably redeeming quality about Weinstein is that you can grab some Cluckstein on your way home — most likely to somewhere better than here.


Top Five

5. Palladium Residence Hall

(Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel for WSN)

Everything about Palladium is entirely average. Although the overhead lights are dim, and the good natural light is of no significance in a scenario where your blinds are probably closed, the rooms are very clean and private, and the walls are quite solid.  Some rooms have nice couches, but similar to Third North, I would never let my bare skin near them. Overall, Palladium is a very safe choice.


4. University Hall

The exterior facade of University Hall is shown next to the building.
(Natalia Kempthorne-Curiel for WSN)

Similar to Palladium, UHall is average in terms of comfort. Clean rooms of decent size and thick walls mean that it’s very possible you wouldn’t even need to sexile your suitemates beyond the common area to get some good action. I’ve also heard that the all-gender bathroom in the lounge has seen quite a few things over the years.


3. Brittany Hall

A wide shot of Brittany Hall from across the street.
(Qianshan Weng for WSN)

These rooms are clean, modern and spacious. A lot of the rooms have a nice hallway from the front door, so the beds are far back enough to eliminate noise coming from either end, and the thick walls further the sense of privacy. Some rooms even have a couple of hidden nooks that have been known to be occupied during a dorm party. Altogether, if you need somewhere to do a walk of shame home from, Brittany would be a very solid choice.


2. Broome Street

(Qianshan Weng for WSN)

Broome’s dorm rooms are similar to those in Brittany, but their suites come with the addition of a common area. Unlike in Gramercy, the bedrooms are offset from the common area by a hallway, which provides extra privacy. The walls seem plenty thick enough, too. The only difficulty here is the long commute from virtually any other campus building — but I guess you could solve the distance problem of a potential late-night sneaky link by just sleeping over.


1. Lipton Hall

The exterior of NYU’s Lipton Hall with two NYU flags. The building is covered with red bricks and there are several cars parked outside the entrance.
(Kevin Wu for WSN)

One of the most desired dorms on campus for a reason, Lipton seems to have the most to offer in terms of hookup potential in a residence hall. Pristine, airy and more recently renovated, these rooms are incredibly big, with solid walls and good ventilation — creating the ideal hookup environment. Some of the beds are tucked into nooks in the wall, allowing for extra privacy. The massive bathroom and shower combination can add a little extra spice to your night, or day — who knows? And best of all, if you stop by for a Lipton dining hall cookie on your way out, you can add a sweet taste to your sweet time.

With all of this in mind: stay safe this February and be sure to stop at the resource center condom dispensers of whichever dorm you and your sneaky link may end up in 😉