5. Situationship

“A relationship that really isn’t a relationship, but is not not a relationship.”

Let’s take a moment of silence for anyone who has been in a situationship: You are seen and heard. The mere notion of a situationship makes me ill. One second, the energy between this couple is intoxicating, where they are finishing each other’s sentences and acting like they’ve known each other their whole lives. After coming back from spring break, one of them will start randomly acting weird and not want anything to do with the other. The utter lack of consistency between the parties is far too much whiplash for these poor people to experience. I can’t express how thankful I am to have never been in a situationship, because the emotional toll is just too catastrophic.

4. Casual Dating 

“You’re knee deep in the passenger seat, but it means nothing.” 

Snooze fest! I love to judge people’s dating habits, and this status almost gets the most hate from me — almost. Casual dating is like a liminal space of constant neutrality. Though it’s far from being in a committed relationship, the dates are cute, and connections are made — but it all just feels kind of boring. Casual daters might feel sparks, but without progressing the relationship, there’s no hope for a flame. 

3. In a relationship

“Tied down and shackled to one person.” 

For many people, being in a relationship is the end goal, and I understand why. It’s secure, committed and consistent. However, especially among young daters, these relationships lose their liveliness after the honeymoon phase. When things are good, they are great, but no young person should feel like their love has aged horribly. As a young person dating, the last thing I want my relationship to reflect is that of my grandparents, but I see far too many couples acting like they’ve been together for over five decades.

2. Single

“On the prowl and ready to take on the scene.” 

Make some noise for all the single people out there, because we don’t give enough credit to how great being single is. For single people, the world is their oyster. Whenever they want to do something around the city, they can do it. If they want to have a wild night out, they can go make out with someone at a club or bar. Single people prove that no one needs a romantic partner — they have the freedom to explore new relationships, live freely and do as they please. Beyond the law, there is no limit to what they can do, and that deserves more appreciation.

1. Friends with benefits 

“A surface-level friendship met with the greatest thing on the planet.” 

In its purest and truest form, this is, without a doubt, the juiciest, most intoxicating relationship on the market. When they’re acting as friends, it’s incredibly low stakes and requires minimal effort. And talk about low effort and high reward, because what about those benefits? The only thing standing between this pair is a few roommates and a twin XL. Any visit with a beneficial friend will generally follow a consistent structure, including 15 minutes of small talk, one person asking what show they should watch and consequently cuddling up and “watching TV.” It’s a proven formula for a reason, because it works perfectly. There is a constant, invigorating tension that surrounds this couple — the energy around them is always asking, “will they?” or “won’t they?” but newsflash: They always will.