Mandie Montes, Under the Arch Senior Editor
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl this year because I don’t live with my superhero, sports fan dad anymore since I moved to New York for college. But I think it’s important to note that … well … even though two cool-ass Latinas performed at the halftime show, it still isn’t a huge win for representation. If we continue to champion non-black Latinx artists for the sake of representation, then we are doing a disservice to the idea of inclusivity by 1) not including Black Latinxs in our conversations regarding representation, and 2) supporting white-passing Latinxs instead of black folks resisting the NFL and its system of oppression, most notably when it comes to Colin Kaepernick. I don’t know, just a thought!
As a non-black Latinx working to understand my position in conversations about Latinidad, this is important to me, and I want to make sure that it’s made right.
On Bathroom Breaks
Helen Wajda, Deputy Opinion Editor
Every time I force myself to watch the Super Bowl, I run into a problem about halfway through my fourth can of soda: I have no idea when to go to the bathroom during the never-ending stream of commercials and football. Super Bowl commercials are so hyped up that I don’t want to miss them and risk falling behind on all the memes the day after, but I also don’t want to miss some of the game on the off-chance that something interesting actually happens. Can we have commercial breaks from the actual commercials, so I can pee without being afraid of missing out? My bladder would appreciate it.
Gabby Lozano, Deputy Opinion Editor
What do the directors of the Planters Super Bowl Commercial and I have in common?
We both gave up early in the year and attempted to go through with it anyway, but failed spectacularly and ended up with a confusing project that was in actual gibberish (if you consider dolphin noises to be gibberish). Baby Yoda was cute, Baby Jabba the Hut was weird, but Baby Nut was pathetic. To the Directors of Planters (and myself), do better.
On the MVP
Arvind Sriram, Sports Editor
Patrick Mahomes played a solid game, but I think Chiefs running back Damien Williams was snubbed for Super Bowl MVP. Anyway in my opinion, this was probably one of the most entertaining playoffs in a while. Also, Insomnia Cookies are the move during a Super Bowl party.
On the Half-Time Performance
Asha Ramachandran, Deputy Opinion Editor
It was so frustrating to log onto social media after the Super Bowl Halftime show and see the slut-shaming of Shakira and J. Lo. They were amazing performers — sexy, fun, lively and engaging. But the great moral authorities of the internet were so offended at two women dancing that they took to bad-mouthing them online. The slut-shamers come from all different groups of people: self-proclaimed “feminists,” religious puritans, but especially angry were middle-aged white people (and sometimes all three). Do these high-and-mighty “feminists” not see the contradiction in claiming Shakira and J. Lo’s performance was objectifying and helped the patriarchy while simultaneously calling them dirty sluts with no self-respect? And where was this energy when Adam Levine literally stripped in his Super Bowl performance? I guess those women were a bit too busy drooling over his bare chest to police his sexuality … honestly, if y’all looked as good as Shakira and J.Lo and were half as talented, you would flaunt it too. Stay jealous!
On the Bowl Itself
Anna-Dmitry Muratova, Deputy Managing Editor
I don’t know sports. The Super Bowl might as well be a huge bowl in my universe. Sorry.
On Shattered Dreams
Abby Hofstetter, Managing Editor
I have many thoughts on the Super Bowl. However, there is one thing I simply cannot stop thinking about: “Zootopia.” I will not deny that Shakira is a talented performer; doing so would be a waste of time. But on Sunday night, she led me astray. The moment she stepped onstage, I immediately noticed she was wearing the same outfit as the character she played in the 2016 animated movie, “Zootopia” — a pop singer named Gazelle, who was also a gazelle. I was excited — not only am I a huge Shakira fan, but I stan “Zootopia” as well. Would she be performing the film’s featured song, “Try Everything?” I waited with excited anticipation for eleven minutes, and with each passing second I became slowly filled with despair. Though she wore Gazelle’s outfit, Shakira did not sing Gazelle’s song. I guess hips do lie.
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