For an NYU student, being a cliché is one of the biggest fashion faux pas one can make, even when it comes to Halloween costumes. The best kind of costume is the type no one can identify. Instead of referencing a mainstream pop culture character, recognizable animal or object, dismantle the patriarchy and defy capitalist ideals by sporting the most underground get-ups this holiday.
Man on the Street
As you walk home from your Post-Socialist Metaphilosophy class, stop someone you pass on the street for a chat. Attain a deep understanding of their personal history and mode of thinking, then recreate their outfit. When people ask about your costume, explain to them the importance of connecting with the inner beauty of fellow New Yorkers. Be careful not to choose anyone who has been featured by “Humans of New York” — they’re far too well-known.
Glass of Ice Water — before it was cool
Sometimes the most admired concepts are the ones you experience every day, such as a glass of water. Everyone loves a cool glass of ice water with their kale salad for lunch, but show your depth by dressing as the water before it was cool. Wear entirely light blue apparel, and be sure to omit any representation of ice cubes.
A Modest Mouse
Forget the revealing cat, dog and Walter White costumes your friends are wearing. Be a modest mouse instead. Pair mouse ears with a convent-appropriate grey turtleneck and maxi skirt or pants. Draw a mouse nose and whiskers onto your face, but keep the co-lor palette muted to avoid a burlesque feel. Refrain from any sexual or otherwise illicit activity throughout the festivities.
Jimmy Fellini
Almost nobody knows about Jimmy Fellini, the vastly underappreciated and talented brother of actor Riccardo and Federico, who is known even to those outside of arts and humanities majors as the director of such influential films as “La Dolce Vita.” Jimmy, however, directed the cult classics, “Il Pesce di Tristezza” and “Amo Ravioli.” Impress your film friends by donning his trademark white shirt and black pants.
This story is part of our fictitious coverage in celebration of Halloween 2013. All people and events in the story are fictional.
A version of this article appeared in the Thursday, Oct. 31 print edition. The Grady Twins are waiting in the Overlook Hotel. Email them at [email protected].