NEW YORK, NY — A new study has found that around 85 percent of NYU Tisch School of the Arts students do not actually want to join the workforce post-graduation. We discovered that alternatively, students say that they either do not know what to do or will likely do whatever the hell they want.

A general consensus was drawn from the Tisch student body that the workforce is just not for them and simply does not call for the lifestyle and routine that artists want.

“I will never work in an office,” Musical Theater major Daniella Brooks said. “The stage is my office.”

When prompted with the possibility of not becoming a Broadway starlet, Brooks was taken aback replying with two contrasting monologues and a solo rendition of “Into the Woods.”

Jacob Rosenberg, a Tisch Film and TV student, described his ideal schedule as a freelance unemployed filmmaker.

“My short film just can’t be confined to a nine-to-five, five days a week,” Rosenberg said. “It can maybe done from eight to 10, three days a week, with OK food but a lot of heart. You can’t mess with the artistic process”

Researchers concluded the study with an inference that the United States’ unemployment rate could be traced back to the plague of the “so-called aspiring artist”. The number of these young artists who are technically unemployed is difficult to discern, as their definition of a job is completely unknown.

“Art is my job — 24/7,” Rosenberg said.

Email Ben Eisenberg at [email protected].