Let’s face it — November sucks. Halloweekend has passed, and the holiday season — although actually close — seems further away than ever. Midterms, second midterms, finals preparation, internship applications and dreaded class selection all culminate into one emotionally harrowing month.
Sometimes, when you feel absolutely directionless about school, it’s best to look at the stars. Although I am no astrologist, your zodiac sign reveals a lot about you. And, dear reader, you may not know me, but I know you better than you think. So get out your metaphorical telescopes and let’s see what space has to say about your academic journey this month.
Aries: March 21-April 19
Look, I know getting into a fight with your teacher assistant over a test score sounds appealing, but let’s take a step back. You’re ferocious, bold and sometimes a little too passionate, but it’s OK to accept a B+ even when you’ve deemed yourself deserving of top-of-class status. I will say, you are going to be an absolute beast when it comes to class selection this year, with reflexes only comparable to a millennial woman securing Taylor Swift tickets.
Try: Losing
Avoid: Arguing with professors
Taurus: April 20-May 20
You’re the most grounded of the signs, meaning you’re going to stay calm and collected even as finals are approaching at full force. But you and I both know this chill facade is a bit of an act — there’s no way you haven’t freaked out about at least one assignment this semester. You may be an introvert, but if you’re feeling the heat, reach out to friends and family for support.
Try: Asking for help
Avoid: Bottling emotions
Gemini: May 21-June 21
You’re a workaholic. Always taking on extra projects and assignments, you stand out during this time of academic stress. However, this tendency can make you a little less personable, moody or erratic. Just because you are capable of taking on five different tasks, doesn’t mean you should. Maybe, instead of taking another leadership role in the club you can’t even remember why you signed up for, take care of yourself. And while you’re at it, maybe be a little kinder to your friends — you are, after all, notorious for being a little evil.
Try: Choosing kindness
Avoid: Too many commitments
Cancer: June 22-July 22
Let me guess: you’ve cried a lot these past few weeks. I encourage you to stop taking things too personally. Just because a professor forgot to respond to your email doesn’t mean they hate your guts. Just because you got a C on one midterm doesn’t mean you’ll be exiled from the academic and professional world. There is life outside of school, or so I’ve heard, and this is just one rough month in your beautiful, albeit very emotional, life.
Try: Feeling unbridled joy
Avoid: Spiraling
Leo: July 23-Aug. 22
You need to stop craving academic validation. I hate to break it to you, but nobody cares that you got the best grade in the class. Do you want a cookie? In all seriousness, I get it. As a Leo, you are constantly fighting the urge to make everything about yourself. Just remember, everyone here is stressed out, and at the end of the day, school isn’t a competition.
Try: Finding internal validation
Avoid: Bragging
Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 21
You are locked in on your studies, with a level of focus only comparable to Stephen Nedoroscik solving a Rubix cube. But, you get too caught up on little details, which has been your downfall. Instead of just turning in that big paper, you stare at it for hours, picking it apart and ultimately, making it worse. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to make a spelling error or use the wrong punctuation. Instead of freaking out, drink some chamomile tea and take a nap.
Try: Chilling out
Avoid: Overanalyzing
Libra: Sept. 22-Oct. 23
Can you make a decision about anything? Sorry, that was aggressive, but your indecisive nature makes you a ticking time bomb during times of academic stress. Instead of studying, you sit and stare at your to-do list, trying to figure out if you should start studying for that exam or write that paper first. And I know class selection must be horrible for you right now, as you can’t even pick a major due to your 55 different interests.
Try: Focusing
Avoid: Being choice-paralyzed
Scorpio: Oct. 24-Nov. 21
First of all, happy early or late birthday! Second of all, you are an academic weapon. For test prep, you’re probably sitting in the corner of your dark study, writing out notes for your literature class with a quill pen — so dark, so mysterious. You study like a vampire in your solitary cave with nothing but silence to accompany you. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you need to go outside. Please, for the love of God, go for a walk and grab some coffee or something — thank me later.
Try: Touching grass
Avoid: Solitude
Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Where are my fellow Sagittarians at? Get ready to be read for filth. You need to commit to something. Making a to-do list is not the same thing as doing homework, and you can’t check something off your list that you haven’t already finished. Stop procrastinating and put down the energy drinks — you have more than enough vibrance without them. But, even though you stress everyone out, you always manage to get your work done, and that, my friend, is a skill only few possess.
Try: Following through
Avoid: Distractions
Capricorn: Dec. 22-Jan. 19
I feel like you’ve been a little judgemental. Before you get angry, let me explain. You are ambitious, accomplished, intelligent — a go-getter who will stop at nothing to get what you want. But, what you fail to recognize is that not everyone cares as much as you do. It’s okay if your classmate doesn’t want to study for eight hours straight with you, or if your friend is putting off an assignment. At the end of the day, it’s really not your problem.
Try: Worrying about yourself
Avoid: Telling people what to do
Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18
You focus on the big picture, like getting good grades or having the perfect class schedule. However, when it comes to focusing on the little things, you crash and burn. Have you ever tried to have a casual conversation with your professor or classmates? Sometimes genuine connection with peers and professors can be just as rewarding as a pretty report card. If you keep looking too far ahead, you’re going to miss out on all the opportunities that you have right now.
Try: Enjoying the little things
Avoid: Thinking too much
Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20
You soak up everyone’s stress, making you a giant ball of chaos. It’s great to be an empath, but empathy has its limits. Your ability to feel so deeply causes you to turn to escapism as a crutch, and you find yourself doodling or dreaming up a new TV pilot instead of submitting your final project. You need to stay grounded unless you want to experience a catastrophic crashout in the library at 3 a.m.
Try: Protecting your energy
Avoid: Falling off the handle
Contact Annie Emans at [email protected].