If you’re a reality TV junkie, seeing “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” show up on your Hulu recommended section probably left you frustrated. How could another reality show about Mormons in Utah possibly compare to the drama of the last season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? The “viewer discretion advised” warning and surprisingly alluring intro music, however, provide an early indication that this show is anything but predictable.
The show follows eight Mormon women as they navigate marriage, friendship and scandal, all while being TikTok influencers on MomTok — a community of Mormon mothers. They use their platform to show that it’s okay for women to have other aspirations besides marriage and having two children by 23.
The women on the show are divided into two groups: “saints” and “sinners.” The saints are the most devout members of the church, while the sinners are known to stray outside of the religion’s strict honor code. These dynamics are prevalent throughout the show, but best demonstrated in the third episode, “The Book of Saints & Sinners,” when Jennifer Affleck — a saint — has to decide whether she wants to invite her sinner friends to her baby’s blessing.
Taylor Frankie Paul, the leader of the sinners, gained a lot of media attention in 2022 after confessing to engaging in soft swinging — a type of consensual non-monogamy — with other couples on MomTok. The question of with whom is left unanswered, though, as the topic wasn’t brought up by the show’s other cast members. Although the series was likely pitched because of the attention their community gained during Taylor’s scandal, it instead focuses on the strength of their friendship as they’re tested by scandal, constant media backlash and tumultuous romances.
The show is an interesting deep dive into what it’s like being in the public eye as a content creator while also belonging to a strict religion. A non-Mormon may assume they live very innocent lives with no drama or cheating — and definitely no talking back to their husbands. These preconceptions make the storylines and tension feel fabricated, but Utah content creators have publicly stated that “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is an accurate depiction of Mormons in the state.
The leads of the Saints and Sinners, Whitney Leavitt and Taylor, respectively, seem to have the most tension. In the second episode, “The Book of Belonging,” Taylor invites Whitney to her baby shower, but Whitney’s absence leaves Taylor confused about the legitimacy of their friendship. A big blowout ensues in the fourth episode, “The Book of Truth,” on a trip where Whitney is forced to air out her issues about Taylor in front of all the other women.
The audience is drawn in when the producers obviously put the women in a compromising position, hoping for the biggest emotional eruption possible. However, they also can’t help but feel bad for pregnant Taylor, who displays a genuine desire to know what she did wrong to lose Whitney’s friendship. The series feels like Taylor’s redemption arc — she began as a subject of internet hate after her confession, but gained sympathy as she opened up about her rocky relationship with her new boyfriend and the determination to move on from her past. Whitney, on the other hand, takes on the villain role. There is a disconnect between her and the other women that makes her come across as selfish and inconsiderate. Demi Engemann, one of the sinners, has no problem calling Whitney out, leading to many of the fights on the show.
The partners of these women play a huge role in the show. There’s no shortage of marriage complications, giving perspective to the relationship tensions that arise from the religious pressure to be the ideal couple. Whitney is healing from her husband’s infidelity, which happened during filming. Taylor isn’t sure her relationship with her baby daddy, Dakota Mortenson, will last, and Jen’s husband can’t decide between gambling all her money away or yelling at her for going out with friends. All of these problems are exacerbated by the matrimonial expectations of their religion. Even though women like Demi are in healthy relationships, they are still scrutinized in the community for having divorced.
These moments highlight the constant underlying pressure put on women in the Mormon Church, and how they fight it. When they acknowledge faults in Mormon teachings, it really humanizes the experience of Mormon women, and hopefully opens up a bigger conversation about female expression in the church.
The openness of the wives regarding their interpersonal relationships is undeniably respectable. Even though these women have shared content on TikTok for years, this reality show raises the stakes of their vulnerability, offering their lives up for speculation and judgment from far beyond the Mormon community. For all the reality TV fans, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is right up your alley. There will no doubt be a second season, so hold onto your temple garments and enjoy the ride.
Contact Brooke Roberts at [email protected]
