Sometimes, you just have to take a step back and look at the issues, you know? The real important stuff. We get wrapped up in our daily minutia so much, we forget sometimes that there’s a big world with big problems that need big solving.

Like the bathrooms, right? They stink so bad. I thought we were supposed to be getting rid of waste, right? Why does it smell like they’re still keeping it around? Step it up.

Library sleepers? Don’t get me started. Pushing their faces into their books all the time. Mashing faces until the wee hours of the morning. Get a room, you two!

The subway? Come on. Like, you always want the trains to be on time and then they never are? It’s like they read your mind, but then they just want to spite you! It’s nuts.

And buses are even worse, because they’re always stuck in traffic. If I wanted to sit in a metal box and not go anywhere, I’d just stay at home, right? And if I wanted to stay at home, I’d be in the suburbs! New York City!

And what’s the deal with dining hall food? Like, some of it is good, and some of it is bad? And on some days the good stuff is bad and the bad stuff is good? Make up your minds! Sheesh.

Turnstiles? Ugh. They’re just boxes, but they’re designed to get in your way. Like hello, plain old cardboard boxes can do that plenty well. I legitimately don’t get the point. Pass.

And Stern students? It’s all, business, business, business. Business, business, marketing, business, finance, accounting, business. Business, business. Like, learn to speak English, nerds.

Not like Tisch students are any better. Studying drama? Photography? Music? Like, I thought that art was supposed to be from the heart. Not the brain. Use the brain for brain things. It doesn’t make any sense.

CAS? I got nothing. That’s how boring it is. Snooore.

What’s the deal with tuition? Like, five figure costs? I can’t even think of any numbers bigger than that. You know humans are the only animals to pay tuition? It just seems totally unnatural to me. Weird.

And President Hamilton, with all due respect, what’s his deal? You know, he’s British, bald and has glasses? A bit too much going on at once, hey? Like, tone it down a little, man.
Washington Square News covers the important issues.

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