Let’s state the facts. Most American high schools and middle schools cover all the do’s and don’ts of sex, but they forget the most important thing that sex education should cover: sex.

After talking to many friends from NYU who have attended American high schools with a sex education course, very few of them expressed confidence with the quality of their sex ed. A common piece of advice is to “integrate the concept of pleasure” into sex education. The American Sexual Health Association states that instead of only describing sexuality as frightening by listing all the STDs, schools should focus on portraying sex as enjoyable so that students can learn how to communicate what they’re comfortable with and what they aren’t comfortable with sexually.

Schools insist on showing graphic slides about what STDs can do to you but they fail to discuss the real process behind how one actually gets these STDs. For real, sex is more complicated than just ‘sticking it in,’ a common misconception between young students. This leads to students taking other measures to learn about sex. Parents wonder why their teenagers are increasingly watching porn. A recent article by the New York Times explained that since teens aren’t taught how to have sex, they resort to porn to teach them the ropes.

Another upsetting thing about sex education is that it doesn’t really cater to the LGBTQ community. If schools make sex education LGBTQ friendly it might make being a part of that community more acceptable, reducing bullying and abuse. Let’s just say sex ed isn’t supposed to be just about how to wear a condom for men — what about how to wear a female condom?

Students enter the real world with little to no knowledge of what sex is and are left unsure and anxious because all they know about sex is the number of diseases it causes. Sure it’s important to know the repercussions of a sexually transmitted disease but it isn’t fair to design the sex education curriculum in a way that somehow caters to abstinence. After all, sex is technically a biological need.

There is a social stigma attached to sex but it’s time to ignore that. Schools need to familiarize students with consent and make them feel comfortable with their bodies, and moreover, what they can do with their bodies. Sex education should cover not just “how to have sex,” but be all inclusive of things like fellatio and cunnilingus. Sure, all of this information is available on the Internet but it would just make things so much easier if it was already incorporated into the sex education curriculum.

It’s important to remember that sex isn’t a sin or the “forbidden fruit.” It’s a natural occurrence that takes place between two consenting human beings. It’s high time schools realize that.

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Email Nishka Dhawan at [email protected].