This week on staff rants, our Opinion Editor Tyler Crews had to incentivize her staff with candy. While some debated her methods, the result was an increase in staff rants for all of you to enjoy.

On Course Selection:

Why is signing up for courses such a struggle? Also, why does my advisor make signing up for courses more of a struggle? Admittedly, my lack of decisiveness has really thrown a wrench into the whole process, but still, I just want some support. It seems like all they can do is tell me what I can’t do, rather than informing me of ways that I can achieve what I want through unconventional means, like J-term and Summer term. I walked out of the meeting way more confused than I was before, and now I am clueless.

— Tyler Crews, Opinion Editor

On Aging:

Getting older is the worst. I’m letting you know right now seeing the next Class of 20__ stresses me out. Not only am I struggling to stay up past midnight let alone leave the house at 10 p.m. to meet friends, but seeing these banners constantly reminding me that I’m almost done with college is rough. Trust me, I’m happy for each incoming class — truly, congratulations, but college goes by very quickly and knowing that I’ll be out of school and have to face real life very, very soon is killing me slowly.

— Liv Chai, Dining Editor

On Health:

Why are all the healthy options at NYU dining halls so terrible? Every single vegetable offered is either overcooked or undercooked. All I want in life is to eat sweet potatoes that don’t taste like rocks. Or green beans that don’t turn to baby food the moment they make contact with my fork. Not having a kitchen is the struggle of my existence, and it is made worse by the fact that most of the healthy food in dining halls is inedible. Also, WHERE IS THE AVOCADO?!! It is a staple in my diet, and I can’t find it anywhere except in sushi. I always end up getting pizza or a burger because I just want something that tastes good. Help me, NYU Dining. Help. Me.

— Sakshi Venkatraman, News Editor

On Tyler:

Today our Opinion Editor, Tyler [middle name here] Crews brought in candy to bribe us to write one of these. Let’s talk about the use of candy to bribe tireless workers. I work night and day — but mainly night, trying to help Ms. Crews. And this is how she repays me? By dangling candy in front of me. Does she know I haven’t eaten today? That’s a lie, but usually I don’t eat on Mondays until 5 p.m. What kind of sham is this? She’s eaten five pieces herself. A torturous woman, gluttonous, you might say. That’s what I say. I hope you aren’t worked down by Ms. Crews, and she doesn’t dangle a Twizzler or another sweet treat in front of your desperate, hungry eyes.

Update: I have secured a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. All is well and now this rant is useless.

— Pamela Jew, Deputy Managing Editor

On Midterms:

I had a midterm today. Now, if you’re into English you might take a closer look at the word MIDterm (emphasis mine). Notice how the MID implies middle, which, the dictionary defines: “at an equal distance from the extremities of something.” And the “term” part of midterm implies this something is the term. Yet there I was, sitting in a too hot lecture hall surrounded by despair facing a paper I was in no way prepared for, pondering the ridiculousness of having a MIDterm three weeks before the end of the term. At that point, just wait for the final.  

— Viral Shanker, Deputy Copy Editor

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