Early last week reality television star and horse enthusiast, Kylie Jenner, announced the name of her newborn baby, Stormi Daniel Jenner.

Family, fans and reasonable people worldwide rushed to inform the new mom that she had just named her first baby not only after a porn star, but after Stormy Daniels, the busty blonde who received a premature presidential spray tan in 2006.

“It was like so hard to stay up to date on the news,” Jenner said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal. “I was busy trying to keep my pregnancy a secret while also making my nationwide baby release video that you can watch now on Netflix.”

Kim Kardashian, Jenner’s sister and noteworthy philanthropist, revealed a competition in the family to give the swaggiest baby name. Although Kardashian bitterly conceded that Jenner is the smartest in the family, she thought that anyone — even her own half-sister — naming their child after a porn to be revolting.

“I thought being a bastard child of a 20-year-old reality star would have been bad enough,” Kardashian said. “But yes, I do think Kylie will be a good mom.”

After being informed of her horrible mistake, Jenner announced that she will use white-out on birth certificate and change the baby’s name to Caitlyn.

Email Genevieve Goodman at [email protected].