Welcome to another edition of Staff Rants. While our problems may be mediocre, our frustration is monumental — read our menial issues and hear our mighty roar!

On Noisy Neighbors:

Look, don’t get me wrong — if you’re getting some action on the daily, I am happy for you. You go Glen Coco! But when y’all are getting it on so loudly that I know more about your sex life than your best friend, it’s going to be an issue. Please remember that the walls are thin, and nobody on the floor wants to hear your vibrator or phone sex when they’re trying to go to sleep. Or when they’re trying to do homework. Or when they’re trying to hang out with their friends. Really, we just don’t want to hear it. — Natasha Roy, News Editor

On Introductions:

I know it is a necessary step in meeting new people, but I swear if I have to explain my major, what dorm I’m in and the relationship I have with my roommates one more time, I’m going to resort to tattooing it permanently on my face. It’s not like this problem is unique to me, everyone has to suffer through it, but my name being as strange as it is makes things 10 times worse. Of course I’m aware that Jemima isn’t the most common name in the world, but I honestly thought that people would have more originality than to repeatedly make the ‘Aunt Jemima’ joke. — Jemima McEvoy, News Editor

On Coughing:

Yes, I understand that the weather is cold and people are bound to get sick. However, that is no excuse for anyone to projectile cough in every direction as if it is their personal vendetta to infect as many people as possible. I would love to know the backwoodsy barn that these people were raised in, where aggressive and earth-shaking coughs are encouraged and practiced on a daily basis. — Tom Price, Opinion Editor

On Professors and Organization:

As students, we work hard to be prepared for class. Even before I boarded the plane to return for spring semester, I ordered textbooks, reorganized my binders, and tried to update my planner. I say ‘tried’ because I could not actually update my planner because my professors had not posted their syllabi. If they expect us to take the time to prepare for class, so should they. — Taylor Nicole Rogers, Features Editor

Email the Editorial Board at [email protected].