Rob Schneider — former star of the piddling TV show “Real Rob” and currently selling a new book, “You Can Do It!: Speak Your Mind, America.” — recently laid out an idea in favor of mandatory conscription and military service in a drawn-out X post. Under no circumstances can we go through with the adoption of a universal draft — if we did, we’d be imposing the most wide-reaching state-mandated programming in American history. The federal government has already taken steps toward such a reality, mandating automatic registration into the Selective Service System to bypass those who won’t register themselves. Even though I don’t put much stock in Schneider’s ideas, his comedy or the fact that this was even his own idea to write, I believe that what he’s suggesting is a direct response to the state of the country and our floundering war with Iran. 

“We must once again recommit ourselves to one Nation under God, indivisible,” Schneider writes. “Therefore, we must restore the military draft for our Nation’s young people.”

Mandatory service like this empowers the U.S. government to brainwash future generations into a standing army of nationalist drones, forced to foot the bills for carnage and bloodshed while a select few stay home and guide the empire. After saying that we as Americans must pay a cost for our freedom, Schneider says the benefits to this system would be a physical improvement regimen that conscripts could use for the rest of their lives, as well as a standing army for war and “domestic problems like natural disasters.” 

Schneider closed the X post with ended with a final silver lining: “we would have in service every segment of our society represented so that our elected officials would be more hesitant and not cavalier about sending their own sons and daughters off to a faraway war unless it was truly in our nation’s interests.” 

The United States had a lot of things to learn from the Vietnam War, chiefly that war is a wasteful hell where honor turns out to be a convenient lie. The second biggest thing most people learned is that the draft and the systems of government did not treat everyone equally. Millions of people received deferments from their conscription during the Vietnam War, leveraging loopholes to either dodge joining or be stationed in a non-combat capacity. 

President Donald Trump famously avoided being drafted thanks to a bone spurs diagnosis. Another historical example was that of David Eisenhower — grandson of President Dwight Eisenhower and boyfriend of Former President Richard Nixon’s daughter at the time — who was placed in a virtually harmless post as a Navy officer during the ground war in Vietnam. These stories, and the notion that privileged kids get out of the fray while the working class are sent to kill and die, is the focus of the veritable theme song of the Vietnam War, Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Fortunate Son.”

Schneider and other pro-drafters are attempting to trick the public into thinking there’s a good reason they’re being trained as soldiers. And there is a good reason, at least for those in charge and away from the fighting: Mandatory conscription will create effective social programming for youth, which will leave tangible effects on the post-service life and attitudes of conscripts. A study of the effects of mandatory conscription on the moral values and attitudes of Israeli Defense Force soldiers found that such social programming is possible — as the IDF has succeeded in creating an imprintable ideology on its conscripts. When these soldiers feel that there is less of an imminent existential threat from their enemies and neighbors, then they focus their efforts towards social niceties and are slightly less intolerant of Arabs. When we increase fears of imminent existential threats, defense beliefs strengthen and threat pictures expand as the conditioned responses to threats of war. 

Politics and social attitude aside, mandatory conscription brings hazards and suffering on a personal level. Those conscripted are at increased risk of addictive compensatory behaviors like smoking and drinking, and of a “strong and long-lasting negative effect on physical health.” This overall degradation of health would have a disastrous effect on the workforce and the economy. While risk can be mitigated with bandaid solutions like reinforcing good attitudes and bans on substance abuse, such moderation is near impossible to enforce on a systemic level. 

If we’re going to even consider an idea like mandatory conscription, we must create alternatives to combat and ensure benefits for the vulnerable populations being forced to fight for a country that often doesn’t care about them. Replacing mandatory conscription periods with free college or trade programs would ensure that people could get an education and a living, instead of serving two years as an expendable meat shield only to be dumped into the workforce.  

Considering the alarming state of the war in Iran, the United States’ notorious spending on the military — which is somehow about to get astronomically worse at the expense of dozens of social programs — and the increased clamor for conscription, it seems like the country is gearing up for something big. Whether that’s just housekeeping for a new state of the world or preparation for something unprecedented, we have reason to be concerned. Hopefully, we can take the ceasefires in Iran and Lebanon as a sign that a ground invasion isn’t required in the near future. Otherwise, we’ll see who the fortunate ones really are.

WSN’s Opinion desk strives to publish ideas worth discussing. The views presented in the Opinion desk are solely the views of the writer.