Stern Dean Stepped Down to Become Lead Singer of Owl City
March 31, 2017
A recent announcement from Owl City lead singer Adam Young has shocked and offended the NYU community. Stern School of Business Dean Peter Henry is stepping down from his position to assume Young’s role as lead singer of Owl City.
Controversy has recently surrounded the band due to its extremely public endorsement of President Donald Trump. The band’s hit song “Fireflies” was written as an ode to Trump after the duo had a wonderful lunch date at By Chloe. Henry said he is super nervous to be part of this legendary band but hopes to rise to the occasion.
“I plan to become the next President of the United States,” Henry said. “But that’s after I finish with Owl City of course. There’s a lot I need to do in terms of re-branding, song-writing and campaigning — these will be some busy days”
Henry said that he is not disappointed to leave the university because of these new prospects — he plans to distribute free mix tapes to all Stern students.
“Stern is the only one that matters,” Henry said. “Except for Owl City. Owl City matters.”
President Andrew Hamilton originally declined to comment but changed his mind and said that he was too upset not to speak about this development. Hamilton believes that Henry’s ties to Owl City are despicable and may cause Stern students to develop a bad attitude.
“The students in Stern right now are very humble and kind individuals,” Hamilton said. “I’m afraid that Henry’s association with such a politically divisive band will negatively influence them. I’m just afraid that they’ll start performing worse in their studies.”
While Hamilton was not happy with this decision, students who knew Henry personally are much more supportive of this new development. Stern freshman Spencer Buffet, who is also a staff writer for Stern’s official blog, said that he would support literally any decision made by Henry.
“I love Dean Henry almost as much as I love my parents — he’s really taken me under his wing,” Buffet said. “In preparation for his time as lead singer of Owl City, I have created a startup that can promote bands better. Two of my closest friends are collaborating with me on it — you may have seen the stickers around campus.”
Henry said that he will hold an impromptu concert next Thursday as a goodbye to his NYU community — he thinks this is the best way to honor his legacy at NYU and to prepare for the next five years of touring with the band.
“I love my fans here at NYU, but it’s time for me to follow my dreams,” Henry said. “On that note, I want to leave my students with a few words: ‘I’d like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowly. It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep, but everything is never as it seems.’”
Email Jemima McEvoy at [email protected]. This report has been a part of our special April 1 parody coverage. Check back next week when we get back to business.