Sports and NYU do not mix. It’s not just a stereotype: a measly 3.1% of students play any sort of varsity sport. To put that into perspective, this figure is less than the estimated number of current NYU sugar babies, and almost on par with the number of members of the NYU Cheese Club in 2015. Yet, despite this notably small figure, it seems as if our student population has been embroiled in a never-ending battle with regards to one aspect of NYU’s sports culture: our mascot.

Mascots help to create a more cohesive school identity, and the Bobcat is easily the best choice to fill this role instead of lesser gods like the NYU Violets or the NYU Torches.

Those pulling for the Torches are our university’s equivalent to that singular Jill Stein supporter everyone occasionally catches a glimpse of within the depths of their Facebook feed. The only plausible explanation for this being an actual thought that any NYU student has ever actually had is that they somehow ended up viewing this ridiculous excuse for a spirited hand gesture from 2013. These students have apparently decided that the only way to properly memorialize such an accurate depiction of the depressing reality that is sports-related enthusiasm at NYU is by ironically attempting to canonize the torch as our actual mascot. As wonderful as it would be, the switch from Bobcats to Torches seems unlikely. Since there is no other remotely acceptable reason for confusing what is quite obviously our logo with our mascot, the NYU Torches is obviously out. This leaves us with the Violets as a possible contender to the Bobcat.

First of all, is it Violets or Violet? Neither makes any sense. It often seems to me that when people argue for this embarrassing excuse for a mascot, they frequently cite the fact that it is the university’s school color, as if that helps any aspect of their argument. The absolutely ridiculous nature of this claim aside, if they are arguing that our mascot should be a color, what on earth is that supposed to look like? The Human Embodiment of The Color Purple is a Gallatin concentration, not an acceptable description of what is supposed to be standing on the sidelines of whatever non-Quidditch sporting events I’ve been told actually take place on this campus.

However, some — still totally incorrect — people take the side of Elvis in this debate, and argue that the Violet in question is not some touchy-feely combination of blue and red, but instead the actual eponymous flower. To these delusional Bobcats, I offer only the following simple facts — the violet species developed from a type of flower called the “johnny-jump-up,” and one of the most common uses of the violet flower is as a laxative. Just think about that. Do we really want someone parading around our school as a previously poorly alliterated, bowel movement-inducing fool? The Bobcat is obviously the only reasonable choice here.

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