NYU announced it is completely shutting down effective Oct. 31 because the collective debt of the university’s students has crossed the $1 billion threshold. Administrators and faculty will meet this afternoon to discuss how to curb student debt and reopen the university. This comes at a time of heightened concern over the impending zombie apocalypse.

Key services that will be affected include the distribution of financial aid and scholarships, campus security, academic resources, nearly all dining services and funding for clubs. Unaffected by the shutdown are salaries, loans for administrators and Burger Studio. Funding for NYU 2031 — the university’s plan for expansion in the Village — will not be used to alleviate the crisis as construction plans continue.

Students living in residence halls were encouraged by the university to keep their doors locked tonight as a safety precaution. NYU released a safety alert to students that warned of rowdy Manhattanites attending the Village Halloween parade.

“Students are advised to not open up their doors to werewolves, vampires, zombies or Miley Cyrus impersonators,” university spokesperson C.J. Cregg said in an email to students. “Without campus security, it is imperative that students take safety into their own hands. Because of hostility between local residents and the NYU community, there are legitimate reasons to fear for your lives.”

There is also growing concern that Greenwich Village residents will team up with the zombies to storm the university.

“We have to get them while they’re down,” said Amelia Pickles, the leader of the newly formed Greenwich Residents Against Virtually Everything, which was 400 members strong as of press time. “At midnight on Halloween, we will march on NYU. Bring your pitchforks and your torches.”

CAS senior Connor Young fled his room in Second Street residence hall and is staying with a friend in Gramercy Green residence hall to avoid the fray. They have barricaded themselves in the friend’s room on the 13th floor, but Young said the boredom was starting to drive him insane.

“I did not leave the south side [of campus] for this,” Young said. “My friend is in Gallatin, and he keeps talking about his concentration in art from the Antarctic, metaphysical poetry, and the concept of universality with a sub-focus in women’s business studies. I might just join GRAVE at this point.”

NYU politics professor Selena Del Monte said the chances of the university reopening were slim.

“We’d be better off with Speaker John Boehner negotiating this issue,” Del Monte said. “The administrators will not abandon expansion in favor of reducing student costs. For now, I recommend students try to enjoy the second consecutive Halloween where NYU is effectively shut down, and avoid the undead mob at their doorsteps.”

This story is part of our fictitious coverage in celebration of Halloween 2013. All people and events in the story are fictional.

A version of this article appeared in the Thursday, Oct. 31 print edition. Fred Jones is the leader of Mystery, Inc. Email him at [email protected].