UTA Publishing Editor
I never knew what it was to fall in love with a city until I met New York (1).
From the moment I first laid my eyes on her, I knew she was special (2).
Maybe it was the way she shone brightly in the darkness, blinding me with dreams of grandeur and greatness. Maybe it was the way she made everything alive – (3) with her, there was never a dull moment, never a second to waste.
Maybe it was the way she loved all people, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation (4).
She brimmed with culture, stories to tell from every walk of life. I wanted to be a part of it; to kick off my vagabond shoes and find myself king of the hill (5). She was the embodiment of a dream, and from the moment she first welcomed me into her arms, my heart was hers.
When I first heard about NYU, I was immediately drawn by the prospect of getting to live in the city I loved, while furthering my education. The information seminar that I attended at my school only served to increase my interest. As someone whose dream is to visit countries all over the world (6), I was pleased to learn that NYU is ranked first place for having the most students who study internationally (7). The wide variety of majors offered by NYU’s College of Arts and Science intrigued me as well. I chose to study psychology (8), because I’ve come to realize that the human mind is quite possibly the most intricate and powerful machines there is (9), and, as I am controlled by one, I strive to understand its functions. NYU would be a remarkable place for me embark (10) on this endeavor.
To me, there is no better city in which to spend my college years than New York. Maybe it’s because NYU’s highly regarded curriculum can enable me to achieve a top-tier education, and its diverse community would allow me to immerse myself in many different cultures and lifestyles. Maybe it’s because NYU embodies the spirit and character that I find most appealing in a university (10). Or maybe it’s because NYU is only fifteen minutes away from Times Square (11). Either way, I know for sure that NYU can provide me with a welcoming home for the next stage of my life, and that if I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere (12).
(1) This intro sets the tone of the essay really well – in terms of how kitschy and unbearably corny it will be. Well done.
(2) I see you’ve been misleading people about your sexuality for a while now.
(3) This should be an em dash. Good thing you didn’t apply as a journalism major.
(4) Oh, you sweet, innocent summer child. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
(5) Believe it or not, this is just one of TWO references to the song New York, New York in this essay.
(6) This is a blatant lie. Your dream at this point in life was to marry the 2001 version of JC Chasez from ‘NSYNC.
(7) You really tried to use as many words as possible to say this, huh?
(8) You’ll end up changing your mind about your major four times. Just scrap this entire section, honestly.
(9) You kiss your journalism minor with that subject-verb disagreement?
(10) With these mistakes, it’s truly a miracle you’ve gotten as far as you have as an editor!
(11) What spirit and character? Loneliness? Elitism? Vaping as a personality trait?
(12) You’ll end up going to Times Square on purpose maybe seven times in your entire time here. Pick a different example.
(13) Frank Sinatra’s rolling in his grave!